


A Company

by Doong_ie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Humor, Hwang Hyunjin is a Mess, Kim Seungmin & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Kim Seungmin is Whipped, Kim Seungmin-centric, M/M, References to Canon, Slice of Life, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27873653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doong_ie/pseuds/Doong_ie
Summary: Seungmin isn't really convinced that joining the A Cappella Club with is really worth his time, but Felix convinces him to audition for a group anyway. Not only does he get a crash course on the technicalities and terminologies of a cappella arrangements, but he comes to discover the dedication and vulnerability that goes into being a vocalist.The AU where Stray Kids is a rising collegiate a cappella group and the members bond over making noises with their mouths.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Kim Seungmin & Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin & Seo Changbin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 66





	1. A Tempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written because my experiences with a cappella got cut short :0

“Why would you lie to me like this Felix?”

Seungmin found himself standing at the doors to a medium sized lecture hall, where many keen looking students stood outside or filing their way into the room. Earlier that day, Felix had asked Seungmin to come to this building at this time, saying that they could meet up and grab dinner together when his classes were done for the day. Since it was only the first week of classes, Seungmin had taken his word for it and even showed up 5 minutes before Felix’s alleged lecture was supposed to end.

“I mean, I did have a class here earlier this morning… but I thought that it would be cool if we could join a club together,” Felix explained while being somewhat proud of twisting the truth, “there’s someone in my dance crew that’s in the club too. He invited me to the a cappella concert last year and it was a lot better than I could have imagined”.

“Maybe I’ll come to the concert then, but I don’t see why I would join,” he pointed out, “I don’t sing”.

“I hear you sing along sometimes when you listen to music...and every night in the shower. You have a nice voice Seungminnie”. _Note to self, apartment walls are thinner than expected._ His roommate giggled nervously, “also you kinda study... a bit too much... a club could be a good change of pace from being stuck at a desk all night. Plus we might be able to make some new friends, yeah?”. 

Seungmin crossed his arms and pouted, feeling embarrassed, flattered, and attacked. Certainly Felix had good intentions, but going into his second year of legal studies, Seungmin seemed to have a lot on his plate as is. Taking on extra curriculars could interfere with his grades considering that he did spend most of his time studying like Felix had claimed. Maybe some experiences in a committee or student society related to his degree would balance out the risk of lower grades, but a cappella? Would you even put that down on a resume? Does singing have any evident transferable skills?

“I still wanna join though… we can get dinner after so maybe you could stay until it’s over?” Felix pleaded and tugged at Seungmin’s wrist, “their presentation is only half an hour and you won’t even have to pay much attention”. Felix was now pouting, attempting to give him puppy eyes while batting his lashes.

Seungmin sighed out of resignation and nodded. Felix cheered and hugged Seungmin’s arm lightly before pulling open one of the doors, and gesturing for his roommate to head inside. The two made their way into the medium-sized lecture hall and found a couple of seats at the side of the room. In his head, Seungmin was shuffling around his plans to study this evening, reallocating some time dedicated for readings to the day after since he was now spending up to an hour of time out of the apartment. After sorting out his agenda mentally he pulled out his phone and opened his calendar app to finalize his schedule. He would have brought his laptop to maybe get a reading done if he had known that he would be sitting in a lecture hall for another half hour.

A PowerPoint presentation was projected onto the screen at the front of the room, and an older student fixed a microphone to his collar. The conversations in the room slowly died down before his voice boomed through the room’s speakers, “Hello all! Thank you for coming out tonight, it’s aca-mazing to see you all!” Half of the room was ironically laughing like Felix, while the other half was cringing, like Seungmin. “I’m kidding, I will avoid any lame puns for the rest of the night. With that out of the way, welcome to JYP University’s A Cappella Club! My name is Bernard and I am this year's club president. For anyone who doesn’t know what our club is, we make music only using our mouths because our club doesn’t receive enough funding to buy instruments”. Seungmin forced out a smile while Felix was slapping his knee. 

“If you are interested in singing or even just performing on stage, a cappella is a great place to start and meet other students with similar music tastes. In a bit, we will introduce all of our talented groups, each with their own style and sound, so you can figure out which group might be the best for you. As a club we host an a cappella concert at the end of each semester where all groups come together to showcase the new music that they’ve been working on. Each group also tends to have their own showcase so there are loads of fun experiences to be had throughout the term. The time commitment for the club is dependent on the group, or groups, that you are a part of. Some of our groups have an audition process but the application for all groups can be found at the following link here,” he said gesturing up to the big bolded url on the slides behind him, ”without further ado I’ll hand the mic over to our first group, JYP Nation, our oldest and largest non-auditioned group.”

Over the next twenty, Seungmin ended up paying more attention than he would have preferred, learning about each group, noting the differences in each. One by one, each group’s exec team came up and introduced themselves with their own set of colorful slides to explain their group’s primary genre, which songs they would be covering that semester, and what types of members they were seeking for their lineup. GOT7 was focused on their group choreography and putting on powerful performances. Twice took pride in being an all female group since it was objectively harder to pull off as an a cappella group since few female singers had access to a lower register. JYP Nation was a choir like ensemble that covered top 40 hits and accepted anyone that applied; it was mostly intended for students getting into a cappella but may not yet have what it takes to be part of a smaller group.

Day6 came up and introduced themselves as a small vocal-oriented group and the only group that didn’t dance...well. As part of their pitch, they sang a barbershop-quartet-esque sample which had Felix wanting to clap and left Seungmin with goosebumps as they listened to their harmonious blend of rich vocal colors. Seungmin was even more intrigued after finding out that they would be covering one of his favorite songs that semester. 

“We are a more senior group and we take our music and arrangements pretty seriously. So we are looking for members that have either some a cappella experience, or some sort of vocal training as we would rather get straight to the music while skipping over some basic techniques”. 

And so Seungmin’s hopes to join the group were demolished as quickly as they were built. Although he has been told that he was a decent singer by close friends, unless you count the piano lessons that he took growing up, he wasn't well versed with musical theory. He could tell that he wasn't tone deaf, and since he could sing along with most of the songs in his playlists, he had an idea of where his vocal range had its limits. But with no training or performance experience as a vocalist, he was clueless as to how "technically" sound he was, lacking proper knowledge about effective breathing techniques, head voices, or whatever it was that singers worked on. 

"Okay, now we have our final group to present. I’d like to introduce you to our rookie group, Stray Kids!" 

“Did he just say ‘straight kids’?” Felix said to Seungmin in a whisper.

“Nah,” he replied, turning his head in the direction of the pair of students stepping up to the front, “definitely not”. Both were shorter than the average student, and despite their group name, they both seemed to be older students, probably close to graduating. 

The president handed the mic to the taller of the two, his hair was bleached blond with dark roots growing in, unnaturally curled, and altogether pretty damaged. He either had very broad shoulders or his black t-shirt that was two sizes too big. Or maybe both, he did seem to have long arms. The student to stand next to him was slightly shoulder but almost as broad. He wore his hair down as fringe with a black cap on top, covering his forehead and part of his eyes. He wore all black as well except his shirt was well fitted to his torso, accentuating his arms and chest.

Felix’s gaze was fixed on the duo, seemingly analyzing how viable Seungmin’s implication might be. They stood under the screen, with their hands held behind their back. The blond looked up at the screen, foot tapping in a jittery rhythm. Seungmin’s eyes took to another student who was walking up to the front quickly before joining the pair at the front. Though dressed in black too, he looked unlike his peers due to his youthful face and lean stature. His face seemed oddly familiar, mostly his thick eyebrows, but Seungmin couldn’t quite place a finger on it.

“Step out. Hello we are Stray Kids,” they spoke in unison accompanied by a cleanly rehearsed hand gesture. Only the blond’s voice, with an unexpected Australian accent, was picked up by the microphone. Seungmin turned towards Felix who was instantly intrigued. Unlike the groups before them, they didn’t have any slides to accompany their introduction, which gave Seungmin an overall impression of unpreparedness, but maybe as a new group they wouldn’t have much to present anyway.

“My name’s Chan and I am the leader of Stray Kids. This here is Changbin, who is one of our musical directors, and over there is Hyunjin, who will be in charge of choreography this term,” he started. Changbin and Hyunjin both waved to the room, and for a second, Seungmin could have sworn that Hyunjin had looked directly at him and Felix for a bit, “we actually have one other MD but he’s sitting in a lecture right now. Anywho, like Bernard said, we are a brand new a cappella group on campus, but everyone on our team has been a part of JYP Nation before. I’ve actually been a member of the club for seven or eight terms now, uh...” Chan’s voice trailed off, and he looked up at the ceiling, “just a sec”. The other two leaned forward to look at their leader who was now taking his phone out of his pocket. Seungmin leaned back in his seat and sighed softly.

“Right, since we are a new group, the number of spots we have is dependent on how many people are interested in joining. But why join us you may ask? Well, what sets Stray Kids apart is that our musical directors and I produce music and write original songs outside of a capella. We explore a good number of genres but hip hop is probably our main one, pop a close second. We plan to make a cappella arrangements of our songs that we think will be a best fit for the whole team. We don’t want to define ourselves by a concept just yet, since our goal is to make music that really suits the individual talents of our members". Seungmin raised an eyebrow.

“Right now we hope to find members of low-mid to high ranges, as we have a pretty solid bass and percussion section,” he patted Changbin on the shoulder, who was nodding along, “and we are also open to members with any level of musical experience or ability, but uh, we would prefer having members that have flexible schedules due to the amount of music that we wanna get through this semester and uh… yeah I think that’s pretty much it? We’ll stick around if you have any questions for us. Our group should be one of the options on the application form, so you know what to do. Hope to see you at our audition!”

After handing back the microphone, the three returned to their seats. After sitting through the final remarks from the club president, students started to shuffle out of their seats including Seungmin until Felix tapped his arm to get his attention, “I’m gonna say hi to Hyunjin, he’s the one I was talking about, from my dance crew. You wanna come?” 

Seungmin shook his head, “I’ll wait”. Felix nodded while Seungmin sat back down. He watched as Felix sidestepped through an aisle of chairs before approaching the so-called Stray Kids. Hyunjin was already talking to a couple of students, most likely friends of his, and so Felix stood nearby, not wanting to interrupt. Seungmin watched as his roommate waited for a couple of seconds, then approached Changbin who was standing nearby. Seungmin sighed and leaned back into his seat, realizing that this would probably take a bit longer than he thought. He continued to stare at Felix who at some point introduced himself to Chan, potentially bonding over being Australian, or peroxide-blond, or both. Seungmin’s eyes shifted to Hyunjin who was now hugging one of the boys he was talking to earlier before they parted ways and waved goodbye to each other. He joined in the Australians’ conversation shortly after, greeting Felix with a hug as well. 

He could now remember Hyunjin’s face from attending one of Felix’s end of term showcases from the previous year. While back then his hair was a light brown and he wore an all-white dance costume, now his hair was black and tucked under a white beanie while he was dressed comfortably in a hoodie and sweatpants. He could recall how Hyunjin’s on-stage charisma was so captivating, and how his movements and expressions made it hard to take his eyes off of him. In fact, Seungmin was so focused on Hyunjin’s performance that he had difficulty complimenting Felix’s efforts afterwards; he resorted to praising his team as a whole for their synergy, which was an honest opinion and a satisfactory statement for his roommate. Seungmin wouldn’t have guessed that Hyunjin was also a singer, but he definitely understood why he had become the choreographer of the group.

From his seat, Seungmin looked around and observed how he was probably the only one in the room still sitting down. He felt awkward but stayed seated, leaning forward and itching to leave. He simply focused on Felix, who was now talking only to Hyunjin, until he turned his head around and gestured to where he had been sitting. Felix and Hyunjin both smiled and waved at Seunming, to which he weakly waved back at them. They continued their conversation and after another minute of discussion they both hugged before Felix was walking back towards Seungmin. He stood up from his spot and walked and met Felix halfway before they made their way out of the lecture hall.

“What do you wanna get for dinner?” Seungmin asked. He pushed through the doors and stepped into the middle of the hallway, trying to remember from which direction he entered the building. Neither of them cooked seriously, so eating out or getting takeout was often a shared experience for the two roommates. It might not have been the most economical decision, but it was maybe healthier than eating instant ramen all of the time.

“You can pick, since I dragged you out here,” Felix responded cheerily. 

“It’s fine, just don’t do it again,” Seungmin sighed, “there's this place I heard good things about in the plaza nearby, so we can go check that out”. The two were frequently overtaking the students in the hallways, both walking at their Gay™ pace and driven by the emptiness of their stomachs. 

“So did you find any groups to be interesting?” 

“Yeah, Day6 sounded like they’re the most put together. There was that one guy...” Seungmin went on, “ugh, I wanna like… have sex with his voice, it was so good, like... I felt that inside”.

"That's one way to put it," Felix laughed, “gonna audition?”

“I don’t have enough experience”.

“Oh right... any other groups?”

Based on each group’s presentation Day6 was probably the only group that perfectly matched Seungmin’s musical tastes and range. Maybe Stray Kids could appeal to him, but they seemed a bit rough around the edges, and maybe a bit edgy for Seungmin’s button up shirt and khaki style. Surely JYP Nation would take him in, but the idea of playing a minimal part in such a large group felt unrewarding. Even if joining the ensemble could lead to an audition for Day6 the year after, it would be a pretty significant commitment for a mere chance. And who knows if he’ll even have time for clubs as a third year when all his courses start to pick up steam and he’ll have to start working towards law school applications.

“Meh”.

“Aww c’mon Seungminnie. I can tell that you lowkey want to try it. If you audition with me, it could be fun if we got into one together”.

He wanted to deny it but points were being made. He thought carefully as they descended the stairwell. Seungmin could hear Felix’s sincerity in his voice, but he didn’t want to cave in only because of that. Admittedly, there was only so much amusement one could get out of studying in the library all day every day, and if he was going to have any type of fun during his undergrad, this would be an optimal year for putting himself out there. By the time the two reached the ground level, they were both somewhat out of breath, “which ones were you going for? Stray Kids?” 

Felix hummed in approval, "I was considering GOT7 too, but Stray Kids for sure”.

“Do you think they call themselves kids because they’re all under 5’8?” 

“Wow, you’ve cracked the code Seungmin, now they have to take me in since I’m 5’7," Felix replied sarcastically, “wait no, Hyunjin’s taller than you I’m pretty sure”.

Seungmin grunted while pushing open one of the doors out of the building, “if you pay for dinner I’ll audition with you”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exposition takes a lot more words than one would think... But now that I have Ch. 1 published, I will have to keep writing. Trying to be more mindful of details this time around.
> 
> Please bear with me with my poor knowledge on musical theory and legal studies in the chapters to come.


	2. A Praise

“Any questions about how this audition will run or are you okay to start?”

Felix had indeed offered to pay for Seungmin’s dinner and so he had found himself in a small classroom standing in front of the musical directors of Stray Kids who were each taking notes on a laptop or a clipboard. He was introduced to Jisung, a second year music student and the third musical director of the group. He carried a similar youthful look as Hyunjin but almost as expected, he dressed in all black like an edgy teenage e-boy and was no taller than 5’7. 

Seungmin gulped, “I think I’m okay to start”.

“So which part are you up for first Seungmin?” Jisung asked.

“I’ll start with the song I prepared first?” 

“Which song?”

“Uh, Stitches… Shawn Mendes”. By now he had listened to the song so many times that the lyrics were etched into the folds of his brain. It was one less thing to worry about going into the audition. 

“Alright cool. Just take a deep breath and whenever you’re ready,” Chan said, smiling softly, “the floor is yours”.

He cleared his throat again and took a deep breath as Chan had instructed. His heart started to pound as he was hit with the realization that he had never sung with an audience before, let alone one that was there to evaluate his voice. And now that he had to sing without music playing through his ear, he made a conscious effort to conjure up the song’s tempo and first note. In his mind he began to play the song's guitar intro, nodding his head along with the beat before tapping his foot along similarly to how he had done while playing the piano to keep in time. 

His first note came out softly, and so he reminded himself to project his voice for the others. At the start of the second line he felt like he was shouting, voice a little shaky after sharply increasing his volume, but it settled into a comfortable volume by the pre-chorus. He wanted to snap along to the imaginary off-beats, but restrained himself since he was auditioning for an a cappella group after all, opting to shake his fist on beat instead. All the while, he tried his best to keep his eyes open as much as possible, maintaining a connection with his audience. Whenever he would look up at the panel, all three pairs of eyes were watching him head on. 

When finished after the first chorus, Seungmin was somewhat out of breath and licked his lips as they were drying up a lot faster than they were earlier. He nodded his head waiting for a response. Jisung was typing away on his laptop, while Changbin scribbled in notes onto his clipboard. Chan only stared at Seungmin, tapping a pen on his chest with an unreadable expression for a few seconds before nodding, tightening his grip on the pen, and looking down at his laptop screen. Somehow the silence that followed was more nerve-wracking than the song itself. 

“You can get a sip of water Seungmin,” Changbin broke the silence without looking up from his notes. Seungmin waddled to his backpack off to the side to retrieve his reusable metal water bottle. He took a swig of water, and swirled it around his cheeks.

“Have you ever sung before?” Jisung asked bluntly, “high school choir?”, he looked at Seungmin from head to toe, “church?”

Seungmin shook his head before swallowing his water, “no I haven’t”. He saw Jisung’s eyes widen after hearing his response, before he was squinting again at this laptop screen.

“Your voice is very sweet Seungmin,” Chan said with a smile, “you did a good job”. Seungmin could feel some heat gather in his cheeks before he nodded and thanked him quietly. 

“Range check next or study piece next?” Jisung asked. 

“Range check,” he replied, uncertain of which would have been better. 

“Changbin, do you wanna explain it?” Chan asked.

“Yeah,” he set his clipboard and pen on the table in front of him, “so we’re gonna check your lower range first. We’ll give you a starting note and have you sing a little tune, and then you’ll keep singing it, going down the major scale. When you’re low enough that you’re either straining your voice or something hurts you can stop. You know how to match pitch right?”

“Um, I think so?”

“Good, come up closer a bit. Chan, ready the pipe,” Changbin instructed, “I’ll sing the first few notes with you and then I’ll drop off once you have the hang of it”. He turned to Chan and nodded slightly bringing what Seungmin deduced to be a pitch pipe to his mouth. Chan blew a note, then kept it and held it in between his lips. “Repeat after me, okay?” Changbin smoothly sang a series of notes, which Seungmin sang back. “Okay, together now. 1, 2, 3, 4...” The two sang it unison, except this time Changbin had sustained the last note and slid semitone lower, which Seungmin mimicked. They continued a couple more times, and by the fourth iteration, Changbin’s voice was slowly fading out as Seungmin’s took over. He continued his descent lower into his range, watching the other three nod at each new note he was hitting. Since none of the music that he listened to really featured super deep vocals, he managed to go a lot lower than he could have expected. He stopped out of embarrassment after contorting his mouth to discover sounds that he was unaware of possessing. 

“Alright my turn,” Jisung said, “oh, maybe get some more water before we go up”. Seungmin nodded in agreement before taking another sip from his bottle. 

“Do you have falsetto Seungmin?” Chan curiously asked. His accent was still throwing him off despite the fact that he had been living with an Australian for the past year. “If you do, you can switch to it when you feel comfortable,” he rotated his circular pitch pipe before bringing it up to his lips. 

Jisung cleared his throat, “okay! Are you ready?” Seungmin hummed in approval, clearing his throat as well. Chan blew a higher note which Jisung quickly matched, “alright repeat after me”. 

The series of notes that Jisung had sung was different from Changbin’s but Seungmin adapted quickly to the new melody and significantly higher tone. His upper range check took a little less time than that of his lower range as he steadily worked up the scale until his voice was shaky before he flipped over to his falsetto. The transition was abrupt but he managed to settle into his higher range without much difficulty. Half an octave later and his throat was only producing dry air indicating that he had reached his limit. He held onto his neck and massaged his throat, trying to catch his breath. Jisung’s mouth was left hanging open as he turned to Changbin who was smirking whilst recording his highest audible note. 

“He’s threatened,” Changbin said to Seungmin. 

“Am not!” Jisung retaliated, “I’m just- … you say it like that’s a bad thing-”

“Okay let’s move on,” Chan interrupted, resetting the tension in the room. He handed Seungmin a sheet of music for “Voices”, a song that the trio had produced. He had seen it before, as the group had sent out an email detailing how to prepare for their audition including learning one section of the provided four bars. “Which part did you learn?” 

Without perfect pitch or an instrument handy, Seungmin had spent time listening and singing along to additionally provided midi files, practicing the parts for Tenor 2 and Baritone 1 in his room. Two parts because he felt less natural as a baritone but was aware that his tenor range could come out nasally at times. “Um, I practiced Tenor 2 and Baritone 1 but I think I’ll go with Baritone 1”.

“We can start with Bari,” Chan responded, “you could try both if you’re comfortable”. 

“Right, so you can practice it a couple times on your own now and we’ll make sure you got the notes right and everything,” Changbin explained, “we’ll join in when you’re ready”. Seungmin nodded and looked down at the staves of music, finding the first note.  _ D… wait D#... wait what’s an D- _

Chan had blown into the pitch pipe again snapping him out of his mini moment of panic. After matching the pitch he “read” out the rest of the bar. The extent of his sight reading ability at this point was to mentally ‘mark down’ high or low notes and then find every other note based on its relative position to the closest marker. He sang out all four bars again before looking back up.

“Notes are right,” Jisung blurted out, “but when you sing ‘voices’, try to hold onto the ‘e’ sound and finish with the ‘s’ quickly”. He sang the two notes twice, the first time hissing like a snake on the second syllable, and then again correcting himself. Seungmin repeated and looked up for approval. Jisung sang it back once more and so he did as well which got a thumbs up from Changbin. “Alright sing it just like that and let’s try it together”.

Chan blew two notes for Changbin and Seungmin and counted them in. At first the three additional voices caught him off-guard, especially Changbin’s deep bass. He honed in on each note on the paper, trying to hold onto his own melody. The fourth measure ended with a harmony which took Seungmin pleasantly by surprise. Then, they repeated the process with Seungmin and Jisung switching parts. Changbin did comment on Seungmin’s breathing technique but assured him that it wasn’t too big of an issue. 

“You wouldn’t happen to rap would you?” Chan asked. 

“I’ve never tried it before”. Was he supposed to say he was willing to learn?

“You indicated on the form that you have most evenings free this semester, and that you’re not auditioning for any of the other groups, yes?” Changbin asked.

“I have one late lecture on Wednesday nights but every other day is okay,” he explained, “and yeah, this is the only one I’m auditioning for”.

“Good, ‘cause we’re the best,” Jisung claimed proudly, causing Chan to elbow his side lightly, causing the younger to flinch, “what? They just don’t know it yet but we will be”.

“Why Stray Kids?” Changbin asked, “if you don’t mind telling us”.

“My roommate…” He pushed up his round glasses and looked to the floor. He admitted shyly, “he offered to buy me dinner”.

“Wait, you’re being serious right now?” Jisung jumped back in, “for free food?”

“Well uh… he offered but I ended up paying anyway… but I still followed through...”.

Jisung crossed his arms, visibly offended that their group was worth as much as a bowl of poke. Chan however was smiling, “uni student lifestyle am I right my dudes?” Jisung shot a glance towards Chan wanting to contest his claim. “Anyhow, we will try to send out audition results maybe at the end of this week if we’re lucky. But that’s all we have for you, do you have any questions for us?” 

“I don’t think so”. Seungmin retrieved his bag from off of the floor, returning his water bottle and zipping it up.

“Alright it was very nice meeting you Seungmin,” Chan said waving his hands, “make sure your roommate actually pays for dinner next time. Have a good evening!” Seungmin slung his bag over his shoulder before thanking them as well, unsure if he should shake their hands as if it was a job interview, deciding against it. He opened the door, half bowed awkwardly, and ducked out of the classroom into the hallway. 

The a cappella club had booked out two classrooms for each auditioned group: one for holding auditions, and another to serve as a “warm-up room”. A half hour ago Seungmin had spent 20 minutes drinking water and listening to Stitches on repeat, singing to himself a bit louder than he would in his bedroom. He had picked the first audition slot of the evening and so he had the warm-up room to himself to be as loud as he desired without bothering someone else. 

He opened the door and in the classroom sat Felix and Hyunjin on the desks sprawling out their legs like they were sitting on a living room sofa. Felix instinctively hopped off the table and with open arms came up to Seungmin to give him a hug. Seungmin returned his display of affection, patting him lightly on the back, “How’d it go?”

“It was good I think,” he answered. He didn’t know what he was expecting going into the audition. He was mostly curious about how his range check would go, the feeling was comparable to finding out your blood type. “You’ve been drinking water right?”

“Mhm!” Felix hummed, “I’m a little nervous… what if I bomb this one too?” 

Unfortunately for Felix, his GOT7 audition took place the night before and right after one of his dance practices. Wanting to commit to both clubs, he auditioned for the group slightly sweaty and a little out of breath, hindering his potential as a vocalist. 

“You’ll do great Felix,” Seungmin took a step back and noticed how Felix was dressed in all black, his hair even styled up for the occasion, “you already look like a Stray Kid”.

“That’s what I told him too,” Hyunjin spoke from behind Felix, leaning against the table behind him. He wore a loose black and white striped sweater tucked into the front of a pair of blue jeans. Very off-brand for the group if you asked Seungmin. 

“Ooh yeah, Hyunjin this is my roommate, Seungmin. Seungmin, this is Hyunjin,” Felix said politely. Seungmin raised a hand which Hyunjin returned nonchalantly, waving it slightly with a warm smile. 

“I’m gonna check on the group and see if they want me to do anything,” Hyunjin said getting up from his spot and brushing past Seungmin on his way out of the room. The sound of the door closing behind him was a squeak. 

“Ready for your audition?” Seungmin asked, redirecting the conversation. Felix nodded in response. “Remember to breathe and stuff. Honestly I don’t know how I could’ve prepared myself for that any better”. The whole audition blurred together in his mind since his nerves were mostly in control of him during the process. 

“You gonna wait for me to finish?” 

“Yeah, I’ll just sit here and maybe work on an essay”. 

The door squeaked and in came Hyunjin, “Felix! They are ready for you to go in now”. Felix grabbed his water bottle giving Seungmin another hug then took a deep breath before exiting the room with Hyunjin, leaving Seungmin on his own. 

He took a seat close to the wall and began unpack, setting up his laptop, and pulling out a couple of books from his bag. After pulling up the assignment instructions for his English essay, he made mental notes of the word count, formatting and citation style. He opened a Word document and started to work on the title page filling in his name, his professor’s, and the due date while leaving a “[TITLE HERE]” for later. He found himself sighing to himself and the book on the table in front of him. The book stared at him back as he reached into his pocket to pull out his phone.

Seungmin’s ears perked up at the sound of a squeaky door and a series of percussive sounds. He turned around in his chair to see Hyunjin grooving to his own beat before he stopped, became flustered and started apologizing. 

“It’s okay I wasn’t doing anything important,” Seungmin assured him, lifting up his phone. He turned to sit sideways in his chair before speaking, “so you’re a beatbox-er then?” For some reason this made more sense than Hyunjin being a singer. Something about dancers being good at following beats. 

“‘Vocal percussionist’ as they say, but yes. I sometimes get to rap but I’m a tenor if I have to be,” Hyunjin smiled approaching him, “it sounds like your audition went well”.

“Did they say that?”

“They didn’t tell me anything but Han was sulking so...” Seungmin’s tilted his head out of confusion. “Oh you probably know him as Jisung,” he said, pulling out a chair from the table behind Seungmin’s setup. He must have still looked visibly confused since the other continued to explain, “Jisung is… gosh I don’t wanna gossip but like he is… confident I’ll say that… and deservingly so, he’s talented as hell, don’t get me wrong,” Hyunjin grinned as if he heard an inside joke, “but like... he got a little mad when he didn’t get to rap in the last concert”. 

Hyunjin stepped up closer, noting the book that Seungmin had on his desk. “Wait is that Psych 213?” he asked, leaning over the desk behind Seungmin to get a closer look. Seungmin nodded. “Wait why haven’t I seen you in class?”

Seungmin was also unsure, knowing that he surely would have noticed Hyunjin in a class of 10 people. He thought back to earlier that morning at the line of faces that he passed on his way out of class, “I’m in the 9:30 section, maybe that?”

“Oh ew 9:30,” Hyunjin winced, “makes sense, I’m in the 12:30 one”, he said leaning even closer to look at Seungmin’s laptop screen, holding onto the table’s edge for support, “are you working on the essay he assigned today… the one due in two weeks…?” 

“I was only doing the formatting so I don’t have to do it later,” Seungmin said reassuringly, “I haven’t even started the readings don’t worry”. 

“Oh okay. Maybe we could help each other out sometime,” Hyunjin proposed, lifting himself onto the desk and crossing his legs, “I’d be happy to share my notes, or maybe help proofread?” 

“Oh sure, that sounds great,” he replied, “I wouldn’t mind doing the same for you too”. Hyunjin beamed at his response. Seungmin swiped through his phone before handing it to the other, “here, put your number in and so we can figure out when we’re both free”. 

He nodded, and after a few seconds he handed it back to Seungmin. He had left the contact name as “hyunjin 🌼”. And although it conflicted with his current naming scheme for contacts, he left it as is for the time being. He texted his name to the new number, debating if he should or shouldn’t add an emoji for himself. Suddenly the door squeaked open and they both turned to see who was coming in. 

“YANG JEONGINNN!”

The door closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kim Seungmin doing the bare minimum and still exceeding expectations is a mood. He’s got a point, he’s an icon, he’s a legend, and he is the moment. Now c’mon now. 
> 
> Eeee any comments are appreciated for feedback purposes ^ ^


	3. A Tune

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crumbs. Crumbs. Crumbs.

“I’m Han Jisung, and I’m in charge of the visuals of Stray Kids”.

After three long days of silence from the club, Felix had kept Seungmin locked in a hug for almost a minute which was preceded by the former jumping around their apartment’s kitchen. Both Felix and Seungmin were thrilled to find out that they were to become members of Stray Kids on the weekend of Felix’s birthday. Already grateful for the brunch that he was being treated to, Felix was especially thankful that Seungmin had agreed to join the group with him despite any previous doubts about a cappella. 

The group was to meet every Tuesday and Thursday, so less than one week after their audition, they had found themselves in the same classroom except they were the one’s sitting behind the desk while the exec team for Stray Kids stood at the front and presented themselves more formally. Chan was in his fifth year of his undergrad after switching to a musical therapy degree midway through and delaying his graduation by an extra year. Not only was he Stray Kid’s ‘president’ who handled any logistical tasks, but he did most of the musical arranging. Changbin on the other hand was a third year economics student and was well on his way to graduating on time. As Chan had alluded to at the club’s info session, Changbin was the group’s designated bass. Along with Jisung, they formed 3RACHA, a songwriting and music production trio, often using a recording booth available to music students to their advantage. 

“So I get to judge what you want to wear to shows and then make adjustments like a stylist,” Jisung continued, “as for singing, I’m a tenor most of the time, if I’m not the lead vocal or rapper. Also I’m in my second year, working towards a Bachelor of Music”. 

“Anything else you want to brag about?” 

“I think my face speaks for itself”. 

Hyunjin and Changbin shared similar shit-eating grins. Chan lowered his head and brought his hand up to cover his mouth. He rubbed his face pulling his hand away, “thank you Jisung. Next we have...”

“Hyunjin!” the tallest of the exec team greeted the group waving both hands cheerfully, “second year English major. Choreographer and main VP of the group. It’s nice to meet you all again since I have already met each of you before.”

“Wait you know everyone?”

“I do,” Hyunjin confirmed. He went down the line of new members, “I know Jeongin from high school, Felix from dance, Seungmin through Felix, and Minho through a couple of people… but also dance,” he said looking back to Felix whilst redirecting his sights from the mystery boy, who Seungmin now knew the name of.

Aside from Minho, Seungmin had also met all the members in the room. During Felix’s audition he had introduced himself to Jeongin, and a friend who accompanied Jeongin to his audition but wasn’t auditioning himself. He learned that Jeongin and Hyunjin were in the same choir at their time shared at a performing arts school and that the two had kept touch while Hyunjin was away at university. Hyunjin had hyped up the club to the point that Jeongin felt obligated to audition for a spot in Hyunjin’s group. 

“As a disclaimer, Hyunjin had no say as to who got into the group,” Changbin chimed in, “he just did a good job of spreading the word I guess...” Hyunjin smiled shly. “You were all chosen for having free time and musical potential”.

Chan nodded, “now that you all know us, you four can introduce yourselves to each other. So name, program, and add on your a cappella experience too”. He turned towards the boy on Seungmin’s left.

Minho turned his chair to face the other newbies, “like Hyunjin said, I’m Minho. I’m in my fourth year of computer science”. Aside from Seungmin, Minho’s outfit was the most mature and ‘smart’ of the group. Dressed in a light blue long sleeved button-up tucked into the front of light chino pants, Seungmin would have thought that Minho sang in church like Jisung had assumed for himself. His soft, dark hair fell onto his forehead after pushing it back and out of his eyes. Although the way he presented himself was very approachable and friendly, a better look at his face challenged the idea. With angled brows, full lips, dark eyes, and spotless skin, Minho looked unlike many other computer science students that Seungmin had met in his time. He was conventionally handsome in a way that felt untouchable, intimidating even. Not to mention that he smelled peculiarly... clean? “First term doing acapella for me,” he said kindly. Judging by the way that Jisung was glaring at him, his singing voice was probably equally soft and pleasant. Jisung’s glare faded then shifted to Seungmin, meaning that it was his turn to go.

Seungmin slightly pushed back his chair so that both Minho and Jeongin could see him better before introducing himself, “my name is Seungmin and I’m in my second year of legal-studies,” he turned to his left and right, slightly waving to both Minho and Jeongin, “this would also be my first term of a cappella as well,” he said, turning to Felix smiling with his lips.

“Oh, hi everyone, I’m Felix. Second year of honours science,” he said bashfully as the center of attention, “I’m also in my first term of acapella”. He lifted his chin up, relaxing his face into a smile, “nice to meet you all”. He then turned to his right, and so the room followed.

“Hi! I’m Jeongin and I’m in my first year of my BEd,” the final boy said. While Minho’s presence was mature accompanied with soft features, Jeongin was quite the opposite. His eyes were piercing, his cheekbones were high, and his jawline was well defined. However his purposely messy hairstyle and wide smile contrasted his sharp features, giving a clear impression of innocence. He looked like he was straight out of high school, which he was, not to mention the fact that he still had braces on. Even the way he dressed was bright, sporting a bright university branded hoodie and blue jeans. His ensemble was the most saturated of them all, but again, the bar was low when half of the group dressed in grayscale. “I’m also in JYP Nation this semester but I’m very happy to be a Stray Kid!” The youngest pumped his fist into the air out of excitement. 

“Alright! You can see that half of our group is brand new to a cappella and so the rest of us are going to try our best to keep things simple,” Chan stated, standing back up, “we’re also getting dinner after the meeting. If you can come we can get to know each other a little better there too. And Jisung offered to pay,” Chan said straight faced, opening and logging into his laptop off to the side.

“Chan is paying because it was my birthday,” Jisung countered. Seungmin turned to Felix who acknowledged the statement as well.

“It was Felix’s birthday too,” Hyunjin interjected before either of the two had built up the courage to say anything.

“Chan is paying!” Jisung reiterated excitedly. 

“Okay let’s do some warm-up exercises,” Chan asserted, “everybody up, let’s make a circle”.

All members got up from their seats and faced themselves at the front of the room where there was more space. From there, the group as a whole went through some light physical stretches first, mostly dealing with the neck. Then they moved onto breathing exercises, which meant counting the time spent inhaling and exhaling and doing so in set intervals. Afterwards came the vocal exercises, testing out their ranges, diction, and dynamics. The range exercises were particularly less exciting for Seungmin compared to that of his audition; there was no need for any of them to push past their vocal limits, except for Felix who struggled to keep up with his limited range.

After warming-up, Chan introduced the first song that they would be working on: ‘Grow Up’. To let the members get a feel for the track, he played a sample out loud, which featured Jisung and Chan’s voices as the vocal and rap parts of the song. He then explained the song's meaning and uplifting tone despite the lyrical content. Chan then proposed to break up the musical directors, and Hyunjin, to pair up with each of the a cappella novices to work on their sections together.

“Let’s have Jisung with Jeongin, Hyunjin with Minho, Felix with Changbin, and me with Seungmin,” Chan instructed, “everyone pick a corner and work on your part for half an hour. Try to get to the end of Chorus 1”. The circle broke apart, some members pointing to the area that they would claim, other members pulling chairs out from under the desk. They each settled into different corners of the room before the scraping of chairs across the floor and mild laughter died down. 

“Chan, is Minho 1 or 2?” Hyunjin called out to the other side of the room from where he and Minho were sitting in the back corner.

“2!” Jisung shouted from where him and Jeongin sat by the door. Chan acknowledged Jisung’s answer, which was a satisfactory response for Hyunjin. 

Chan redirected his attention to Seungmin, “take a look at your lyrics… are any of them questionable looking?” Seungmin looked at Chan’s laptop screen, reading through the lines of ‘words’ written above the musical staff. His parts were simply, ‘doo’, ‘woah’ ‘eh’ ,‘ooh’, and ‘oh’ so he looked back up and shook his head. “Okay, let’s just run through it and I’ll let you know how you’re doing as we go”. 

Chan played the song with only his part and Seungmin leaned in, facing his ear to the laptop speakers, to get a better listen. After the first eight measures Chan replayed the audio with Seungmin vocalizing along. They continued the playback and sing-back procedure with the next section of measures and so on and so forth. All the while, Chan was very patient and assuring as Seungmin sang through the song. Chan would correct him on lines that he had misread or mixed up, occasionally making alterations to the sheet music for Seungmin to have as a reference afterwards. Seungmin made an effort to take each of Chan’s suggestions seriously despite the leader’s forgivable nature. Soon enough the two had made it through the end of the first chorus in a mere 25 minutes.

Chan let Seungmin take a short break so he could walk around the room and check in with each pair. The room as a whole was a discord of different noises with three parts and six voices haphazardly going out of sync with each other. Seungmin could hear Jisung trying to get Jeongin to hit his higher notes comfortably while Changbin was working to get Felix’s low notes to come out smoothly. Meanwhile, Hyunjin and Minho worked a little quieter in the opposite corner, quietly focused on the task at hand. While Seungmin waited, he went through the music on his own, typing the notes that Chan had given him into his phone. It would serve as another reference for when he practiced on his own time. Chan returned saying that the other pairs needed at least five more minutes and suggested that they just run through it a couple of times with Chan singing another part. After running through the first parts of the song three times Chan had called everyone to return back to the middle of the room to practice as a whole. 

They stood ordered by section, lodging Seungmin in between Felix and Hyunjin. Chan blew two notes into the pitch pipe and Jisung counted them in and continued to call out the beats to keep everyone at the same tempo. Seungmin and Felix’s sections were actually quite similar for a few measures, differing by an octave for certain notes or sustaining notes for different counts. Hyunjin softly sang along with Minho who had a light vocal color like Seungmin had somewhat predicted. 

They ran the song up until the chorus where Chan cut them off to give notes to Jeongin and Minho who made up the tenor section. They started again from the top, Jisung counting slightly quieter than the first time and they all ended after the first chorus. The musical directors complimented the others for the successful run through, proposing that they run it again one more time before taking a break. And so the eight of them went through the song once more, including Hyunjin who was now beatboxing along. Considering that they were right next to each other, it was much easier for Seungmin to keep in time.

“Okay everyone drink some water and you can have a seat,” Chan called out, “we’ll have a short break followed by some announcements”. 

3RACHA gathered by the front to report and discuss changes to the music. Minho excused himself to the bathroom, and the remaining four members returned to their original seats, with the exception of Hyunjin who sat in the chair next to Jeongin’s instead of on the table. After a couple minutes, Jisung had left to go to the bathroom as well, while Changbin and Chan continued to stand at the front of the room going over notes on Chan’s laptop. Jeongin started a short conversation with Felix since the two had yet to informally get to know each other. Minho returned and took his seat which prompted Chan to begin the announcements.

“I’ll start with a couple of rules and expectations for all of us to follow while we’re a part of the group,” Chan began, “first, tell someone in advance if you are going to be late to meetings. Ideally, like today, we’re all on time and we can start warm-up right away. But I know some of you have classes ending right before we start,” he looked up at no particular member, “so if that is gonna be an issue at any point, let us know as soon as you can.

“Second, take care of yourself. Avoiding sickness is for your own good and everyone uses the same microphones in the club. I recommend a humidifier for the Winter for your throat. Also drink lots of water and try to avoid caffeine or sugary drinks before a performance. If you need coffee to stay awake, drink equal parts water to balance it out, I don’t know I’m not a chemist,” he looked specifically at Jeongin, “and assuming that you’re of legal age, no alcohol until the after-parties,” both Jeongin and Hyunjin grinned at each other despite his firm tone. Chan shifted his sights to Felix, “speaking of chemistry…dates”.

Everyone else turned to Felix equally as confused and mildly flustered. Chan chuckled before moving on, “the A Cappella Club concert will be November 30th and mic check will be the day before,” Chan read out, “I sent this in the audition email so mark this date down in your calendars now if you haven’t already,” he said looking up from his screen. Minho and Felix both pulled out their phones and did as they were told and Chan went on, “in addition to our meetings we will have two ‘bootcamps’: one during the Fall break and one the weekend directly before the concert. Is anyone going to be on vacation during the break or are we all going to be on campus?” 

It was Jeongin who raised his hand, “I was gonna go home for the week, but I could come back after the weekend instead?”. 

“That might work. Is there a weekday that doesn’t work for anyone?” 

Minho raised his hand, “my birthday is the 25th”.

“Oh cool! We can try to book a room before that then?” Chan looked at Hyunjin who gave him a thumbs up, “alright we will try to finalize the first bootcamp day ASAP”.

Hyunjin leaned back in his chair, turned to the row of newbies, and stretched out his hand to get their attention, “bootcamp is when we book a dance studio and learn choreography within a day”. Felix was particularly excited by the idea. 

“And then we can celebrate Minho’s birthday after?” Chan looked up at Minho who twice blinked in response before nodding. Chan smiled before looking at the door as Jisung sneaked back into the room. He went on after Jisung took a seat next to Minho.

“Before the concert, we will perform at other group’s showcases as guests. Showcase dates are still being finalized, but they’ll take place the month between Fall break and the end of term concert. We’re confirmed for JYP Nation and Twice and I’m waiting for confirmation from GOT7’s president. As for Day6…” he paused to cross his arms, “we have not yet been invited for a spot since we’re a rookie group. They usually only invite Twice as guests but if we can prove ourselves in the other showcases, we might get invited to perform one number”.

“And if we don’t perform, I still recommend watching their showcase,” Changbin added on, “their shows are always quite memorable and watching any group perform can be a good learning experience for us as performers”. Changbin leaned back allowing Chan to continue. 

“Our Stray Kids showcase is most likely to take place on a night that we should have a club meeting since that’s when all of us are available. We’ll perform everything we have ready up until that point, but everyone is also encouraged to prepare their own number. So if you have an idea of what you wanna do, talk to one of the MDs so we can work on the sound mixing.

“It doesn’t have to be singing,” Hyunjin shouted in a whisper to the other dancers in the group. Chan nodded in approval. 

“Yeah! You guys can do a group number, that could be really fun to watch. You could get the audience involved too,” Chan smirked, “with their consent of course”.

“Hyunjin wanted to give lap dances!” Jisung yelled out. As the room’s focus centered around Hyunjin, he froze up, eyes wide, and cheeks pink.

“We will discuss the showcase more when it gets closer,” Chan chuckled, “but yeah that’s all I have. I know that might’ve been a lot to take in but if you have a question, let us know”.

Jeongin raised his hand, “are all the showcases free to watch?” 

Changbin stepped forward, “only the end of term concert has a paid ticket. Even if we’re performing we gotta reserve a seat and all”. Jeongin lowered his hand and nodded. “Anyone else?” 

Seeing as no one had any questions, Chan continued, “It’ll be a fun semester guys! It’s our debut and we are going to make a lasting impression on everyone if we all work hard,” he paused momentarily, “but also make sure you pass all of your courses first… please study harder!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while because Felix's major was a mystery. 
> 
> Also for Grow Up parts are as follows:  
> Jisung & Chan - Vocal/Rap  
> Jeongin - Tenor 1 (higher)  
> Minho - Tenor 2 (lower)  
> Seungmin - Baritone 1 (higher)  
> Felix - Baritone 2 (lower)  
> Changbin - Bass  
> Hyunjin - VP
> 
> For all of the songs, their parts are based on their actual vocal abilities. I'll go into more detail as chapters progress.
> 
> Subtle references about Minho in this chapter, including Seungmin's first impression of him, his signature scent, and Jisung glaring at him during introductions.


	4. A Sign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took forever to write since it's kinda filler and set up for what's to come. This is a long ride lol, and I think I'm satisfied with the exposition.
> 
> Unrelated note: I watched the survival show through for the first time; why did no one tell me that Hyunjin specifically requested to be on Seungminnie’s team in the second mission?

“Kim Seungmin go get your man”.

Following their first week of practices, their third practice ended with Seungmin’s birthday dinner. Like Felix and Jisung’s birthday dinner, they celebrated the occasion at a retro themed diner for a special ambiance. Although the others insisted on paying for his meal at the very least, Seungmin had still turned down the offer, claiming that the belated celebration was more than enough. A compromise was reached when the waitress placed a strawberry milkshake in front of him, which was ordered mysteriously while he was in the bathroom. It was only one of the few pleasant surprises that he had received that week.

The first came from Felix, the day of his actual birthday. He had promised to cook something special for Seungmin, going out of his way to buy ingredients the day before. Seungmin recalled an instance when the two attempted to cook pancakes, only to have used too much butter and ended up burning them. So, he didn’t have very high expectations for what Felix would be preparing on his own. Even if he was fully expecting to eat some of Felix’s home cooking, he was not expecting Felix to have set up a candlelit dinner on their tiny dining table, complete with a gourmet meal. Or maybe it was relatively gourmet, since for almost a month the two had grown accustomed to fried eggs, instant ramen, and cereal.

The following Tuesday, the second surprise came from Hyunjin. The two agreed to meet at the library to work on their psychology essays as initially proposed the night of auditions. Although Hyunjin had arrived later than expected, his tardiness was excused when he arrived with two peppermint teas (still abiding the libraries closed drink policy and Chan’s no caffeine suggestion). Although Seungmin rarely drank tea to begin with, the beverage was nevertheless appreciated. After challenging each other’s theses, proofreading and turning in their essays, they spent the rest of the afternoon being surprisingly productive with their studying until it was time to leave for Stray Kids. 

Alas, that was last week and now Seungmin was no exception to the usual tomfoolery that followed Stray Kids practices. 

On their way to dinner, Seungmin and Jeongin both turned around to see Jisung calling out to him a few metres behind them. Changbin walked next to him but without the same eccentric expression. The two younger members slowed their pace and stepped further to the side of the sidewalk allowing the other two to come up beside them.

“Sorry?”

“Look in front of you,” Jisung pointed forward just as he and Changbin had caught up. A few paces ahead and out of earshot were Felix and Minho. Under the warm streetlight, the blond was grabbing onto the brunette’s left arm and pressing his cheek against it. Surprisingly, Minho was tolerating the behaviour rather than resisting or shaking free from his grip.

Contrary to Seungmin’s initial impression, Minho was a lot more lax and impish than expected. He was probably the only member whose personality was even more of an enigma the more that he opened up to the group. Through his push-and-pull interactions with the younger members, Seungmin could identify Minho’s unmatchable wit and stoic nature. His peculiar charm and presence was strangely alluring as exemplified by the duo in front of them.

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you think we haven’t caught on yet?” Changbin questioned, leaning forward to get a better look at Seungmin, “like...he hugs you every time he comes in for practice. You’re not exactly subtle”. 

“You can kiss him too,” Jisung teased while poking at Seungmin’s sweater sleeve, “you don’t have to be shy around us”.

By now Seungmin was up to speed with the situation. Shrugging off Jisung’s fingers he clarified, “Felix is my roommate, not my boyfriend or ...whatever” 

“Oh my god they were roommates,” Jeongin exclaimed. Seungmin turned to face the younger at his right only to be met with a satisfied smile.

“So you’re not together?”

“Is that what you two thought the whole time?”

“...Changbin put the idea in my head so I ran with it”. 

“I mean… I didn’t wanna assume, but I wouldn’t have been surprised,” admitted Jeongin. Seungmin didn’t know how to respond. Somehow Jeongin’s misconception seemed to hold more credibility than that of Jisung and Changbin’s combined, actually calling into question how loudly Seungmin and Felix must have been acting if they had this many people fooled. 

“Maybe Felix is into you,” Changbin theorized, “ever consider that?”

“Felix just likes hugs”.

“What if he likes hugging _you_?”

“He’s affectionate with a lot of his friends, it’s not just me”.

“Like how he’s humping Minho’s leg?” 

Felix was doing nothing of the sort, but it still made sense, “sure… Minho can have him”.

“Exactly! He’s gonna steal Felix away from you!” Jisung cried out dramatically, “he’ll fall in love with Minho instead and you’ll realize too late that you’ve been in love with him this whole time”. 

“Maybe you’re projecting,” Seungmin posed, “we’ve lived together for over a year and he’s been cuddly since we became friends”. 

“And you’ve never considered asking him out?”

“I’m okay with where we are now,” Seungmin watched his words carefully.

“Well what if you’ll be more than okay as boyfriends?” Jisung persisted. 

“I already know we’re not”.

“You won’t know until you’ve tried...” Changbin suggested. Jisung snapped his head up at Changbin and as if they shared the same brain cell. Changbin’s face tensed while Jisung’s lit up. Seungmin could already tell what was coming.

“Have you dated him before?”

After forcing a sigh he answered, “why don’t you ask him instead?”

“Felix!” Jisung called out with no hesitation. 

Felix and Minho both turned their heads around, prompting Jisung to beckon them with a flick of his wrist. Felix relaxed his grip on Minho’s arm and so that he wasn’t pressed against his body, and the two shortened their steps. It didn’t seem to be awkward for either of them to be ‘caught’ by their friends, suggesting that they had nothing to hide. At least that’s from what Seungmin could tell. It was like looking in a mirror, seeing how unphased Minho was by the blond’s fondness. 

“I’m gonna see what Chan and Hyunjin are talking about,” Jeongin quietly told Seungmin, excusing himself from the conversation and ducking back to Chan and Hyunjin who were lagging behind the rest of the group. 

Seungmin watched helplessly, extending an arm out to summon Jeongin back with no avail. He tilted his head back and ran a hand through his hair. He had himself to blame for giving Jisung the idea. But who’s to say that dodging the question or answering it directly would’ve derailed the conversation enough to keep Felix and Minho from walking one pace ahead of them instead of five.

“Did you and Seungmin date?” Jisung asked wilfully. 

Looking over his shoulder, Felix locked eyes with Seungmin, raising a brow at Jisung afterwards, “why are you asking?” 

“Changbin wants to ask him out,” Jisung responded sarcastically. A beat passed with Jisung expecting a response from Felix or a reaction from Changbin. Without either he continued, “he needs to know about any evil exes”.

Felix’s face showed that he was even more lost and so Seungmin simply frowned and shrugged his shoulders.

“I guess we did?” 

Changbin leaned forward with an inquisitive look on his face, “how do you not know?”

“We were roommates in first year…so we experimented and tried...” Felix glanced at Seungmin, “dating...” Seungmin gave him a weak smile. 

First-year of university was a year of many other first times for Seungmin. Most, if not all, memories shared with Felix, including but not limited to kisses, dates, boyfriends, breakups, house parties, and hangovers. Quite a shift from goody-two-shoes high school Seungmin, especially considering how most of the events took place within the first three months of school. 

“Why’d you break up?” Jisung asked bluntly.

“Jisung...” Changbin nudged, “you’ve already been pushing it”.

Like Seungmin had implied earlier, they were better as friends before anything else. Experimenting with Felix allowed Seungmin to find out what he liked and disliked in terms of intimacy, sexually or not. Once they ventured further than the sexual aspect, Seungmin grew insecure as Felix’s partner, understanding that Felix expressed his own affection physically but responded well to words of affirmation. If Seungmin already had trouble communicating his emotions with words, communicating with his body was even more of a foreign concept. Felix could also feel a shift in Seungmin’s behaviour once they made things official. Simply hanging out started to feel stressful, constantly wondering if he was doing enough for his boyfriend at any given situation. Unable to properly talk through his emotions or expectations, Seungmin spent more time thinking about him and Felix rather than actually spending time together.

Before things could get too serious, there was a mutual agreement that the moments they spent together were best experienced as friends without additional pressure to do ‘well’. The decision seemed to have paid off considering that they remained close enough to move in together for another school-year. As friends, the two still shared displays of affection, went out together for dinner, and surprised each other on special occasions. His feelings towards Felix remained platonic, and he could only hope that Felix felt the same way. Felix did bounce back in a way; seeing that Seungmin wasn’t able to be there for him physically, he turned to dating apps for his fix. Although his escapades were fulfilling, Felix remained single, since most of his partners weren’t willing to stick around or go further than sex. 

Even now, Seungmin will come home to find Felix’s bedroom door closed and an unfamiliar pair of shoes at their door. To give Felix more privacy, he tries not to leave his room until the coast is clear and listens to music to cancel out any background noise, given that the walls could tell him more than he needed to know. It doesn’t really bother him to see Felix with other people but he sometimes wonders how satisfied Felix is with his own situation. 

With their destination now in view, the group continued to walk awaiting a response from either of the roommates. Seungmin looked to Felix whose head was turned to face him. Seungmin tilted his head and squinted as if he was thinking for an answer. Felix also looked like he thought for a moment then opened his mouth and paused before he gave an answer.

“Neither of us wanted to be the big spoon”. 

This was also true. 

Minho chuckled at the statement. Seungmin smirked. 

“Changbin now’s your chance,” Jisung teased, nudging him with his elbow, “go for Felix, he's closer to your height”. Changbin laughed it off sarcastically.

“Tough luck,” Minho said, throwing an arm around Felix’s shoulder, “Felix is already mine”.

“Oh no, don’t tell Chan,” Jisung spoke.

“Wait why?” Felix asked innocently, “is it bad if we date each other?”

“Ehhhh… there’s no rule but Chan doesn’t want drama,” Changbin answered, “as long as it’s not gonna make things weird in the group...”

“So Jisung trying to set me up with Felix doesn’t count as drama?” Seungmin said, turning the conversation back to where it started. Changbin nudged Jisung, causing him to bump into Seungmin’s shoulder. 

“Well... we thought you two were already together,” Jisung defended himself, “it wouldn’t have changed that much anyway... right? Minho, did you think that Felix and Seungmin were dating?”

“I didn’t know that Seungmin was gay,” said Minho, turning his head and focusing on no one in particular. 

There was no positive way to interpret the statement from Seungmin’s perspective, but it wasn’t necessarily upsetting to hear.

“Wait are we all gay...ish?” Felix questioned, looking to each member for confirmation. Each of the members nodded their heads.

“Jeongin might not be,” Seungmin added. The youngest wasn’t one to talk about his romantic life - hell, who knows if he had one at all - and he often stayed quiet during conversations relating to the subject, like he had earlier. 

“What about Chan?”

“Pffft,” Jisung reacted dismissively, “Hyunjin could tell you-”

“Jisung no,” Changbin cut him off abruptly. Seungmin looked up in curiosity but was answered by an eye roll from Jisung and a hesitant look from Changbin, “Chan is bi”.

And so Seungmin’s first ever impression of the group he had joined was correct. 

“So Jeongin is our token straight?”

“I mean,” Changbin raised an eyebrow, “Jisung is only gay in theory”. He was met with a punch to the arm only causing him to laugh. 

“Let’s change that then,” said Minho, removing his arm from Felix’s shoulder. He smirked directly at Jisung, “when’s everyone free? Let’s have an orgy”. 

Felix snickered and although uninterested, Seungmin also found the proposition to be hilariously bad. Jisung kept his arms crossed in disapproval.

They reached the Korean restaurant that unanimously became their go-to post-practice spot. Notably because it was open late on weekdays, the food was decent, and the prices were student friendly. Seungmin held the glass door open for the others, sustaining his efforts for the remaining members, who seemed to be having a much tamer conversation. The restaurant was a family run business and the lady at the register was also the one to sit them at a table in a corner. After pushing two tables together, the eight of them settled into their seats, removing their bags and placing them under the table. 

Sat in the chairs facing the window were Jisung, Minho, Felix, and Seungmin. Felix was inconspicuously poking Minho’s thigh from under the table, this time met with a bit more resistance from the older. Across the table on the bench sat Changbin, Hyunjin, Jeongin and Chan. Hyunjin leaned back onto Changbin as he incessantly reached out to poke Jeongin’s cheek, who put up much more of a fight. Chan watched the two, neither encouraging or discouraging Hyunjin’s behaviour. After being left with the menus, Chan asked around the table for what dishes and sides to order for the table. By now there was a general understanding that Chan and Seungmin preferred non spicy foods and that Hyunjin was not a fan of certain vegetables. Yet it hasn’t stopped them from misleading Chan into taking a bite of something spicy nor did they refrain from ordering the only side-dish on the menu containing eggplant. 

With the weight of upcoming midterms and essays on his mind, Seungmin let his head fall on Felix’s shoulder before and closed his eyes for a moment. More often than not Seungmin would stay on campus until this time of night, coming from Stray Kids dinners or from a quiet spot in the library basement. Somehow it was a great way to separate his student life from his living space. He was no longer studying at his bedroom’s desk before realizing it was well beyond midnight. His routine nowadays involved coming home late and worn out before taking a quick shower and passing out for the night.

His eyes fluttered open at the sound and sight of glasses of water and the accompanying pitcher being placed on the table in front of him. Lifting his head and straightening his back he properly thanks the lady, taking a sip from the rose colored cup.

“By the way, good job at practice today Seungmin,” Chan smiled from across the table. 

Within the first three practices the group had made it through all of Grow Up and so they had quickly moved on to their next song. The group had access to its sheet music and sample recordings after their fourth meeting and since Seungmin didn’t feel like getting ahead in his readings over the weekend, he had taken the liberty to familiarize himself with the remainder of the song. My Pace had a much more ambitious arrangement and the jump in difficulty was a challenge for the members, both for those learning it and those trying to teach it to them. Earlier he had been working through his part with Changbin who had a few corrections for specific measures or suggestions to better suit the track, like using a tone that was ‘grittier’ in certain sections. 

Meanwhile, the other voices seemed to have more detailed or demanding measures. During the second half of practice, Changbin switched to work with Jeongin, who was originally paired with Hyunjin. Hyunjin was relieved to have time to practice his beatboxing while Seungmin was left to help Chan. Chan essentially had Seungmin act as a real time guide melody for Felix to follow and sing along with. As a result, Seungmin inadvertently learned both baritone parts for the first few sections of the song. As a whole, they didn’t get through enough of the song to run through as a whole unit and so the remaining members were assigned to do some self-study before their next practice, which Seungmin was now able to help Felix with.

Seungmin returned the smile and nodded, swallowing the remaining water in his mouth. Chan continued, “if you’re interested you can come down to the studio and record samples for future songs. Helps a lot with learning the part or we could change it to better suit you”.

He didn’t really get ahead with his music with the intention of spending even more time on the club. “I... I don’t know if I’ll have time… midterm season’s starting for me soon”

“Ah of course,” Chan chuckled, “wouldn’t want to burden you if that’s the case. Maybe when you have more time?”

“I’ll let you know”. It sounded unpromising the way that he said it, but Seungmin was doubtful that his situation would change before exam season. He tried to give a sincere smile to lighten the blow. Chan seemed to take the hint, and turned to Felix.

“Felix what about you? Any spare time in the upcoming weeks?”

“I’ll have to double check, but maybe”. 

“Sweet!” Chan beamed, nodding this head steadily, “Minho, I already talked to you earlier, and Jeongin I’ll see you later this week, yes?” The two mentioned nodded in reply. 

“It’s gonna be so much fun,” Jisung jumped in, reaching an arm across the table trying to grab onto Jeongin’s fingers. The youngest pulled his hand off the table before he got the chance. 

“Stay safe,” Minho advised. Everyone gave him a puzzled look, especially Chan. 

“What would he need to be safe from?” Jisung giggled. 

“Chan,” he continued straight faced, “if he traps you in the sound booth no one will hear you scream”. 

Hyunjin starts choking on the water he was drinking then proceeds to hack up his lungs. Almost instinctively, Changbin pats him on the back and impressively, he doesn’t look up from his phone screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Pace:  
> Vocal/Rap: Jisung, Changbin  
> Tenors: Jeongin, Minho  
> Baritones: Seungmin, Felix  
> Bass: Chan  
> VP: Hyunjin
> 
> Seungmin learns lines really fast in reality, yes, but (at least from my experiences) baritone parts are typically written simpler (melodically) compared to tenor parts (like alto vs soprano). In universe, he’s not meant to be some top tier vocalist with god-given talents, just a decent baritone for the group with a good work ethic. Coincidentally in the survival show, JYP compliments his baritone voice for being loud and clear.
> 
> Also I have an extra line between paragraphs this time; let me know if this is works better. <3


	5. A Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a party chapter and features (underage) drinking, implied drug use and implied sex. 
> 
> Also if you have yet to witness Seungmin's puppy eyes, they are devastating.

“Oh you made it”.

Chan was turning twenty-two and had invited the group to his birthday party. It was an excuse for anyone to drink in the middle of midterm season more than it was a true celebration of Chan’s birthday. Although he knew not to expect any cake, Seungmin agreed to tag along with Felix, intending to have a drink or two, say his hellos to his group members, and leave whenever he got sleepy. His previous party experiences all seemed a little awkward, only really knowing Felix and following him around. At least this time he would have options of people to talk to and he would at least know the household’s residents, being 3RACHA.

If Seungmin had known that they were gonna show up two hours late, he would not have gotten ready to leave three hours earlier. But Felix went on how punctuality wasn’t a priority for house parties and that Chan was gonna be there all night. Felix started a shower at the time that Seungmin would’ve left the apartment, and ended up spending a shameless amount of time ‘preparing’. By the time he got out, Seungmin was grateful that their hydro bill was included in their monthly rent. He then proceeded to spend another half hour getting dressed and styling his hair to perfection. And so despite living three blocks down the street, the roommates arrived well past the time when the party started. 

Once Felix kicked off his shoes at the door, he patted Seungmin’s back before splitting away. Seungmin dragged his feet into the kitchen where he was greeted by Changbin, dressed in his normal attire and tidying up the area.

“We did make it,” Seungmin replies, stepping in and leaning a hip on the counter, “what is there to drink?” 

Although not big on drinking, now that Felix had made him wait so long, he was in the mood to get a little tipsy. He still wanted to release some of his stress and inhibitions so if they already ran out of booze he would’ve been in an even worse mood. 

“I’m not bartending but what’s left is there,” Changbin gestures to the back corner counter using his elbow, hands busy stacking, presumably used, red cups. Against one of the counter walls were a couple of uncapped bottles of various liquors and two opened boxes of canned alcohols. The larger of cheap beer and the other of...

“...Sangria?” he reads the box, leaning in closer. 

“It’s like fruity wine,” Changbin explains, not looking up from the counter he was clearing out, “Jisung wanted something that tasted sweet”.

“I know what it is,” he picks up a can to inspect contents before popping the tab and taking a sip. The beverage was warm and somehow sweeter than he could have anticipated. Seungmin cringes at the taste but takes an even bigger gulp to down quickly. He looks back at Changbin who is reaching for something in a cupboard above the stove, “need any help?”

“Are you trying to call me short?”.

“No… I wouldn’t need to try to do that”.

Bothering Changbin was fun! It wasn’t that hard, as exemplified by the grunts he let out while on his tiptoes to retrieve a box of garbage bags. He also was a good sport about it most of the time.

“I was hoping you’d be nicer considering the free drinks,” he says closing the cupboard. Seungmin just takes another sip, staring him down until a couple of girls that he doesn’t know walk into the kitchen asking for more drinks. He steps to the side of the kitchen next to Changbin to make way. They inspect a can of sangria then turn to Seungmin.

“How does it taste?”

He takes another sip to be sure, “really sweet”.

They exchange looks before shrugging and leaving with two cans of sangria and another of beer. Seungmin had been informed prior that other than his fellow members, the partygoers would be Chan’s friends, mostly made from within the a cappella club. He was half expecting something that resembled a musical theatre enthusiast sing-along given everyone’s common interest, yet so far, there was no piano, guitar, nor karaoke machine in sight. There wasn’t even any music playing on the first floor. 

“Is everyone else here?”

“They’ve been upstairs,” Changbin says tying up a garbage bag, “Chan’s in the basement but you’re a bit late to wish him a happy birthday… You came with Felix I assume?”

Seungmin hums before taking his leave. Chan’s actual birthday was tomorrow so he’ll just text him in the morning instead.

The townhouse apartment had two stories and a basement was notably spacious to begin with, but the rooms also looked bigger due to the scattered furniture.They lacked a proper dining table, opting instead for a foldable table and a couple of stools, while the ‘living room’ had two mismatched armchairs as opposed to a couch. The ‘minimalist’ decor suggested that the three either spent more time in their rooms or on campus. 

Ignoring a couple making out on one of the armchairs, he turns and looks up the narrow staircase to the second floor. Holding onto the railing with one hand and his drink in the other, he realizes how steep the slope is, almost feeling as if he’s leaning further back as he goes up each step, letting the sleeve of his sweater scrape the wall for extra support.

Upon reaching the second floor he encounters two closed doors and recognizes the sound of Jisung’s voice from a room at the end of the hallway. As he draws closer the sounds of laughter and lo-fi beats become louder. He peeks through the open doorway and is greeted immediately. 

“Seungmin!” Jisung’s voice was even louder than it was normally. He was on his knees sporting a black shirt under a brown flannel that Seungmin had seen him wear to practice at least twice. His forehead was sweaty and his hair was pushed aside. Along with Jisung, eight other individuals that Seungmin didn’t recognize (except maybe the two girls he had an exchange with in the kitchen) sat in a circle at the room’s center. He motions toward a gap in the circle, conveniently close to the door and next to Jisung, “where’d your glasses go?” 

Squatting to his knees he replies, “I’m wearing contacts”. He made a decision earlier that tonight would’ve been an occasion worth wearing contacts. But if he knew that he would only be wearing them for a couple of hours, he might’ve brought his glasses instead. He sat on the floor, tucking his legs in and taking another sip of the drink. Now that he was accustomed to the flavor, he was actually quite a fan..

Conversations among the circle continued as Seungmin looked around, casually observing Jisung’s room. One shelf was stacked with a whole lot of everything including a bluetooth speaker emitting the ambient music. Along the length of one wall was a small keyboard, a guitar case, and a working desk, haphazardly topped with open notebooks, a closed laptop, a microphone with a pop filter. One corner featured an unmade bed with a couple of large stuffed animals while another was cluttered with unfolded clothes, pushed against the wall. A couple of the walls were also arrayed with soundproofing panels, which was probably a good idea for a music major living in an attached townhouse.

“You just missed Minho and Jeongin,” Jisung says, placing a hand on Seungmin’s knee, “we played spin the bottle’.

Although curious to observe how the two would’ve acted in the context of a party, or under the influence, missing out on risque party games with his fellow members was something that Seungmin could learn to live with. 

“Oh no…” 

The lack of sincerity was clear.

“Jeongin almost didn’t wanna play without you,” Jisung continues, patting his knee and looking toward the door, “did you come with Felix?”

“He’s with Chan”.

“Chan coming for your man too?”

Seungmin blinks twice before taking another sip of his drink. From behind him he hears a stagger of footsteps from the hallway outside, followed by a familiar voice. 

“Took my spot Seungminnie?” Hyunjin says, stepping up behind Seungmin and placing his hands on his shoulders. He then lowers himself to give Seungmin a back hug, leaving his chin on his right shoulder, “who’s late now?” he mumbles into his neck. 

“Felix made me late,” Seungmin gives as an excuse, turning his head ever so slightly. He sets his drink down to tap and squeeze Hyunjin’s forearm with his now free hand.

“Are you feeling better?” says a girl to their right. 

Hyunjin lets out an extended hum before lifting his chin from Seungmin’s shoulder, “not feeling sick anymore… a little dizzy”.

“Maybe lie down for a bit?”

“Mehhh...”

“What if you pass out... Like last time?”

“That was because of the poppers,” he admits, “I don’t wanna use Jisung’s bed either”.

“Hey!” Jisung interjects. 

“No one does Jisung,” she snarks before turning back to Hyunjin, “what about Changbin’s room?”

“It’s locked… where’s he been anyway?”

“I saw him when I got here… I can find him and ask him to unlock it?”

The girl acknowledges and nods at Seungmin’s offer, “maybe a cup of water would be good too?” 

He nods, tugging gently at Hyunjin’s wrist still around his neck. He stands up after freeing himself and pulls down his sweater to even out the bump formed due to the zipper down the middle. One good look at Hyunjin clues Seungmin into how much of the party he seemed to have missed given how unkempt his appearance was. In a similar fashion to Jisung, Hyunjin’s bangs were wet and stuck to his shiny forehead. His button-up print shirt was unbuttoned at the top, revealing a silver crucifix necklace and collarbones that were glistening with sweat.

Almost in sync, the two smile as Seungmin heads out. Hyunjin shifts to rest his head on her shoulder, picking up Seungmin’s can of sangria before she takes it from him and leaves it on the floor Seungmin remarks that the two could easily pass as siblings or cousins.

On his way out of the room and down the hall Seungmin feels… lighter? He wasn’t really a lightweight but maybe drinking half a can of sangria in ten minutes had taken its toll. Still in control of his general actions, he tightly holds onto the stairway railing and takes each step one at a time. The slightly concerning thought of going back up these stairs while holding a cup of water comes up in his mind but dissipates when he reaches the bottom. After turning the corner, he looks into the kitchen which has one less Changbin than it had earlier. 

As a final-ish resort, he approaches the basement entrance hesitantly before starting to make his descent into the dimly lit staircase. Although less steep than the other staircase, the wooden steps creak at the slightest of pressure. 

At the base of the incline was an unfinished basement, lit by a singular exposed lightbulb among the wooden panels framing the ceiling. Directly in front of him was a washer and dryer, a couple of presumably empty beer cans left on top of each appliance. On his left was a slightly opened door, light coming from the creaks in its frame. On his right was a notably short hallway with a closed door featuring a mismatch of muffled noises coming from behind. If Seungmin had to guess obliviously, he could’ve said that there was a tone-deaf, mixed a cappella group doing vocal warm ups except they all skipped over the breathing exercises and went straight to the one where they belt their lungs out to warm up their chest voices. 

Seungmin takes his chances with the door on the left.

He was lucky to have held his breath as he knocked and pushed the door open as the scent of vomit and cleaning product filled his nostrils shortly after. Looking into the mirror by the door, he could see the makings of a bathroom along with the person he was looking for crouching in front of the toilet. 

“There’s a bathroom upstairs-” Changbin sighs before turning to face the door, “Seungmin? Did something else happen... Or were you down here for the-”

“Hyunjin wants to lie down for a bit,” he says, causing the older to give him a puzzled look, “can you unlock your room for him?”

“Hyunjin wants my room?” he asks, straightening up and motioning toward the sink. Seungmin backs up a little bit out of the room and watches as Changbin turns on the faucet using his elbows to wash his hands. After drying his hands he then reaches into his back pocket and flips through the ring of keys before holding one out in front of Seungmin, “tell him to stay off my bed”.

“...he’s trying to lie down”.

“The carpet’s soft enough,” he reasons, “and my bed has a bunch of crap on it from cleaning earlier”.

“Um… okay,” Seungmin says, grabbing the key from Changbin’s grip and turning around promptly.

“Leave the keys on my desk!” 

Seungmin flashes a thumbs up with his other hand as he shoves the keys into the pocket of his sweater. Making his way up the stairs, ignoring the now consistent sounds emitting from Chan’s room. He stops by the kitchen to fill a red solo cup with water, then wonders if he should also get one for himself. Remembering the flight of stairs that awaits him, he decides against a second cup.

After a slow trek back up to the second floor he’s greeted at the top by Hyunjin accompanied by the girl from earlier, both sitting on the floor by the door to Changbin’s room. He hands Hyunjin the cup of water before retrieving the key from his pocket and unlocking the door. Playful shouts still come from Jisung’s room down the hall. 

“Do you need me to watch you?” she asks Hyunjin as he drinks from the cup. Once he’s done she takes the cup and takes a sip for herself. 

“I’ll just leave the door open and yell if I need anything,” he replies, getting up from the floor. He quickly sinks back to his knees and crawls into the room instead.

“That would be a yes?”

“I can um… watch him if you don’t want to,” Seungmin proposes.

“Oh, but didn’t you just get here?” she says handing Seungmin the water cup and his can of sangria.

“It’s only for a bit… I really don’t mind”. 

Truthfully he wasn’t sure if watching over a tipsy Hyunjin alone would be more or less awkward than sitting next to an equally tipsy Jisung in a circle of strangers. 

“Um… okay, just yell if he acts up I guess?”

“Will do”. 

“Thanks uhh, Seungmin right?” she asks, “I’m Yeji”.

“Nice to meet you,” he nods,” and no problem”.

They part ways and Seungmin stumbles into Changbin’s room to find Hyunjin already sprawled out on the fluffy black carpet on the floor by the bed. The carpet was an accurate representation of Changbin’s personality, and the angle of the full length mirror leaning against the wall was an accurate reflection of his height. As alluded to earlier, his bed featured a pile of jackets and coats next to unsealed cardboard boxes laid out on the sheets. 

“Close the door,” Hyunjin calls from the carpet, “I’m tired of Jisung’s emo soft boy shit”.

Seungmin does as instructed, using his feet and surprisingly the door blocks out the majority of the music from down the hall. He first leaves the drinks in his hands on an empty space on a bedside table, then walks across the room to set down the ring of keys on the corner of Changbin’s desk, which was clearer and more organized compared to Jisung’s. 

“Come sit,” Hyunjin pets the carpet.

He looks to the carpet before stepping over Hyunjin’s legs to sit cross-legged while keeping his back straight against the stack of mattresses on the floor. 

“Aren’t you supposed to lie down on your side so you don’t choke on your vomit?”

Hyunjin chuckles from his place on the floor, “don’t worry I won’t,” he turns his head to face Seungmin, “can I use your lap Seungminnie?”

“Um sure…”

Hyunjin wriggles around from his spot on the floor, repositioning his head to rest on one of Seungmin’s thighs. He squirms his head around before settling into a comfortable position and lets out a deep breath. By now Seungmin had noticed the bruise formed at the side of Hyunjin's neck since his unbuttoned-button-up shirt wasn’t hiding anything. 

“Is your neck okay?”

“Oh this,” Hyunjin reaches up, “this was Jeongin’s… Minho drove him home cuz he was tired...”

“Jeongin? ...He’s into… uh...”

“He was dared,” Hyunjin mumbles, moving aside the chain of his necklace and rubbing the darkened surface, “he didn’t know anyone else that well”.

“It’s like… really big...” Seungmin winces, reaching out to skim his thumb across the bruise, making circular motions around the area, “did it hurt?”

“Not really,” Hyunjin hums. He closes his eyes slowly, “I’ve had worse… I’ll need spoons”.

Seungmin pictures a scenario of Jeongin being presented with such a decision. Ears red out of alarm and embarrassment and a look of unease, glancing between his older friends. He could imagine Jeongin crawling adamantly towards Hyunjin before placing his hands on his shoulders and leaning in. Given that Jisung was always making kissy faces at Jeongin after practices probably meant that Jisung was disappointed or shocked to have not been chosen himself. But perhaps as Jeongin bit down, Jisung would’ve let it go and screamed out of excitement while Minho watched expressionless from a safe distance. He also wondered how Hyunjin had reacted in the moment. Probably laughing it off or just smiling, waiting for it to be over. 

Perhaps with the same expression that he had on now, as Seungmin was fixated on his neck and thumbing it slowly. 

Seungmin retrieves his hand gently, realizing how intimate of a position they were in, and moves it back to the carpet at his side. He straightens his neck and retracts back into the side of the mattresses. He extends an arm to pick up his drink, turning his head slightly sideways and drinks more of the beverage before returning it. 

“This carpet reminds me of Kkami,” Hyunjin smiles, grasping at the furs with one of his hands, “have I told you about Kkami yet?”

Seungmin thinks for a moment. The name sounds familiar to him, but no visual cue was coming up. Looking back at the carpet and feeling it himself, he puts two and two together, recalling a brief conversation that he listened to about pets. 

“Is Kkami your dog?”

“Ye,” Hyunjin smiles, looking back up at the other, “you haven’t seen him yet?” Seungmin shakes his head, and so Hyunjin slowly slides his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it. After opening his gallery and a folder labelled ‘kkami 🐶’, Hyunjin closes his eyes and lifts his phone up to Seungmin’s face before Seungmin takes ahold of the device to hold at a comfortable angle and distance from his face. 

The number of pictures that Hyunjin has with and of Kkami spoke volumes about his fondness for his pet. The first few pictures are all taken from above, featuring a black and white chihuahua in various settings. Presumably sent from Hyunjin’s parents while he’s away at university; some photos are taken at a dog park, from the inside of Hyunjin’s family home, or from inside of a car. 

As Seungmin continues to scroll, he encounters photos of Hyunjin trying to take selfies with Kkami. In some pictures, Kkami is cooperative or sleeping, while in others he’s blurry like he’s trying to escape the frame of the photo. One particular photo features Hyunjin’s mouth open as if he was taking a bite while Kkami’s eyes are wide and his head is retracted. There are other pictures of Hyunjin kissing Kkami on the nose or behind the ears. 

“He’s cute,” Seungmin thinks to himself out loud. 

Hyunjin agrees and begins to ramble on about Kkami. He goes over when he first took Kkami home, and the topics seem to spiral off from there. His sentences are mostly coherent but his expression and the raspiness in his voice makes it clear that he’s less than sober. Seungmin nods and hums along, half paying attention to the words coming out of Hyunjin’s mouth while the other half of his mind goes to the remainder of the album which he continues to flip through, admiring some of the older pictures that Hyunjin had taken. The thought comes upon him that Hyunjin might also have an interest in photography based on the effort that went into certain pictures, but who’s to say when most of the pictures are just him acting goofy with a dog. 

“Puppy”. 

Seungmin snaps back to reality, the word disconnected from the sentence before it, “Kkami?” He feels the weight of Hyunjin’s head shift along his thigh. 

“No, you”.

Seungmin tilts his head at the statement before looking back down to Hyunjin’s face, “me?”

“Your puppy eyes,” he pokes Seungmin’s cheek then reaches higher. 

Before Seungmin can look into Changbin’s mirror for an explanation, Hyunjin is petting his head as if he was a dog. Confused yet accepting of the gesture, he lowers his head and closes his eyes as his hair is tossed around by the gentle strokes and scratches of Hyunjin’s fingers. 

“You really miss Kkami huh?”

“I do,” he pouts. Hyunjin gives Seungmins head one last pet before pulling away and letting his hand fall onto his stomach.

“I’m sure Kkami misses you too,” Seungmin assures him, setting Hyunjin’s phone on the carpet beside him. 

“Kkami recognizes my voice when I call my mom… but he kinda ignores me unless I have food,” he mumbles, “he doesn’t like to cuddle as much as he used to”.

Hyunjin’s eyes smile along with his lips as he turns to face Seungmin who merely hums out of comprehension. His hum turns into a yawn, and as he covers his mouth he looks at the clock on Changbin’s dresser to see that he’d usually be getting ready for bed, if not already in bed, by this time. 

“Sleepy?”

“A little,” he pulls his hand away and reaches for his can, “might leave when this is done”. 

He shakes the can and he can tell that more than half of its contents are gone. He debates whether or not he should take another sip for the hell of it. It’s not that he wants to leave just yet, but lying down and closing his eyes himself sounds pretty intriguing considering how his night and overall week have gone for him. Sleeping in tomorrow sounds especially nice after learning another song while enduring the midterms and essays of the week. If the lights in Changbin’s room were dimmer then maybe Seungmin could drift off to sleep as is. He returns the drink to the bedside table regardless. He sets his sights back on Hyunjin whose eyes are no longer closed and fixed on his own. 

“Uh… how are you feeling now?”

Hyunjin’s unbreaking eye contact causes Seungmin’s gaze to shift first. He starts to connect the dots on Hyunjin’s skin, focusing on the mole under Hyunjin’s eye, before moving to the smaller one on his jaw and back to the mole positioned by the hickey on his neck.

“Better”. 

Jisung’s music is distilled as it travels from across the hall. Only the muffled bass gets through the door before slowly fading out, indicating the end of another song. For a moment or two, the room is still and silent. The silence is short but isn’t awkward per say. To Seungmin, he’s waiting for Hyunjin to continue, but simultaneously feels as if he’s expected to react first. Seungmin blinks, questioning if Hyunjin had said something and that he had somehow missed his words. Another song starts to play, and the vibrations set the room back into motion. 

“...Do you wanna head back?”

A beat passes and Seungmin almost wonders if he had spoken the question loudly enough for Hyunjin to hear.

“Soon”. 

Hyunjin flattens his hands on the carpet and starts to prop himself up, grunting in the process. As he sits up, he crosses his legs like the other, but faces him instead of the door. Seungmin reaches for the red cup next to his drink and offers it to Hyunjin, who exhales a breath out of his nose with a smile before taking the cup and a sip of water. As the cup is handed back and set down on the table, Hyunjin is running his hands through his black hair, brushing his bangs off of his forehead and tucking some of the longer strands behind his ears. 

Seungmin watches, somehow fascinated by how quickly Hyunjin’s appearance seems to change as he looks at him at a different angle. The transformation is continuous as he carefully draws closer. He recounts the moles that he had identified earlier but in reverse order, ending at Hyunjin’s eyes which are bigger and brighter than they had been when half closed and peered at him from below. Seungmin recalls the pictures that he had taken with Kkami as he’s looked on with a similar gleam. 

There’s a knock on the door which Hyunjin then faces and shouts, “What?!”

The door is opened slowly and carefully before Changbin’s head pops through the side as he takes a peek into the room. 

“Oh good, you actually used the carpet,” he swings the door fully open, reinviting the background voices and music into the quiet. He steps in holding a can of beer in one hand and looks down at the two on his bedroom floor. He squints at Hyunjin, slightly raising a finger to the side of his neck and then lowers it, letting it fall to his side. He exchanges a glance with Seungmin and asks, “do you two know how you’re getting home later?”

“I’m walking,” Seungmin answers. He was planning on leaving with or without Felix depending on his roommate’s situation. 

“Can I sleepover?” Hyunjin pouts.

“No,” Changbin takes a swig of beer and swallows. After excusing a small burp he continues, “I’ll call you an Uber then”.

“Boo,” Hyunjin whines, “why is your bed messier than Jisung’s?”

He takes a couple steps towards his desk and picks up the ring of keys from its corner, “because of what happened last time when you wanted to see my room… Thanks Seungmin,” he raises his beer before stepping out of the room and letting the door swing behind him. Instead of coming to a close it swings back open slightly, bringing the rest of the party back into the room and letting the previous tension to escape.

Seungmin lets another yawn escape from his mouth and he stretches out his limbs. One glance in Changbin’s mirror causes him to realize that his hair is still disheveled from earlier. Combing through it with his fingers, he asks obliviously, “what happened last time?”

“Oh… we hooked up”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May this chapter satisfy your SeungJin hearts.
> 
> Lowkey wanted to sneak Kkomi into this chapter and then Hyunjin released a whole song about him and the obscurity of the reference would’ve been lost so eh.
> 
> Some more a cappella position notes : Since like five of eight Stray Kids members are rappers but a cappella music is less rap inclined, in universe, rap ability translates to beatboxing ability. I like to think that Changbin is the ‘best’ VP in the group but given that no one else can serve as a bass vocal (except Chan), he doesn’t. Similarly, Jisung probably knows how to VP but his voice is too versatile to not use. Changbin would be the one who mentors Hyunjin on his beatboxing outside of practices.


	6. A Lot

“Jeongin you’re staring at Chan again”

‘Get Cool’ was they’re third track on the group’s setlist and Chan had stuck to his word in saying that Stray Kids wanted to make music that suited its members. Jeongin hands-down owned the song by taking on the main vocal on the arrangement that complemented his bright personality and was suspiciously suitable for his range. It blended elements of pop and hip hop, branching out from 3RACHA’s roots in a fun and lighthearted manner. It was quite impressive how quickly the musical directors managed to arrange the song with no way of knowing that Jeongin would’ve been part of the group in advance. Admittedly the rap sections that were eventually assigned to Jisung were not suited to Jeongin’s ability, but seeing Jisung as more of a featured rapper for a song centered around anyone else was refreshing.. 

The youngest has also become a lot more confident in his singing voice after working closely with the members of 3RACHA outside of practices. In addition to having extra practice for his parts, time was spent defining the boundaries of his range and building stability where his voice already carries well. Seungmin can’t relate because up until now he was neither having problems reaching the notes he was given nor was he falling behind in terms of memorization. With no exception he had no difficulty picking up the new four chord tune, silently wishing that there could’ve been more of a challenge, but he was a fan of the song regardless. He won’t admit that the song itself is cute, but listening to Jeongin sing and watching him groove to the music as he sings… that was cute. 

Today was the day of Stray Kids’ first bootcamp of the term, meaning that the group had found themselves in the university’s athletics building as early as 9 am instead of their usual empty classroom around 9 pm. Changbin, Jeongin, Felix, and Seungmin were sat on the floor of a dance studio as Chan and Hyunjin were having a conversation off to the side, all tired with varying degrees of hunger. They were waiting for Jisung and Minho to return from a trip to the vending machines. In reality, they were down the hall, but the fact that they have yet to return meant that they managed to get sidetracked along the way. 

Changbin had called Jeongin out because he was indeed staring at Chan taking advantage of the wall length mirror in an attempt to be discreet. Hours of learning and running through the choreography to My Pace was reason enough for Chan to strip off his oversized black hoodie revealing a loose black muscle shirt that showed off how his fit body was built. While accenting the definition on his arms, his sleeves were cut low enough that if he turned to the side, one could catch a glimpse of tasteful side-tiddie. Seungmin took a look for himself and how well timed it was to find Chan’s arms held up, with one hand combing through his curls and the other holding up his cap. His biceps were flexed and his shirt came up to where his stomach was exposed. Seungmin could see Felix bite on his lip from out of the corner of his eye.

The SeungLix apartment was a lot emptier nowadays. With Seungmin’s typical study habits of coming home towards midnight, Felix seeks other forms of company. Apart from attending class and his dance related commitments, Felix is bouncing between 3RACHA’s house or the studio in one of the music buildings that they tend to use. Although learning ‘My Pace’ was weeks behind them, updates had been made to its sheet music, where Felix’s part now featured a couple of ad libs and less than melodic sounds. The vocables (the one syllable sounds for each note, e.g. “oh”, “da”, “dm”, etc.) from some sections were removed because Felix had somehow discovered sounds that just the latin alphabet just couldn’t capture. He just knew what sound he was supposed to make at what time and with what accompanying note after practicing enough times and so he was the only one who could do his part. He had also taken up beatboxing basics under Chan’s guidance and Seungmin now catches him practicing while at home or out grocery shopping together. Either consciously or unconsciously, Felix’s mouth pops off with simple rhythms, stopping when someone else walks by or when he runs out of breath. Seeing Felix’s determination to tackle the new skill had Seungmin both impressed and mildly irritated at the frequency of his new habit. But he was happy for his roommate so he would politely ask him to stop only if he’s bordering on a headache. 

Chan’s big ass shoes parked at their apartment door was a sight that Seungmin had become accustomed to over the past month. Like all encounters before, he gave his roommate and guest enough privacy and didn’t make any noise complaints, keeping his head filled with music or random videos found through his YouTube recommended. The only time it might have been strange was coming home to face Chan casually sitting at their dining room table, shirtless (tiddies out!) and munching on a bowl of cereal as if he lived there. Sounds of the shower explained the lack of Felix but not the lack of a shirt. They awkwardly greeted each other and Chan was quick to apologize for his indecency. All was forgiven because Seungmin had absolutely nothing to complain about, and he wasn’t going to complain now either.

Seungmin zones out when Jeongin defends himself about his sexual orientation, already knowing of what his arguments are and their credibility. Sipping from his reusable bottle, his eyes wander to Hyunjin who was standing opposite Chan, deep in a discussion about the ‘My Pace’ choreography as demonstrated by the arm movements that the two were mirroring. Although his hair was damp with sweat earlier, Hyunjin came prepared with a headband which makes Seungmin consider investing in something similar. But based on the fact that this would be the third time Seungmin had observed the progression of sweat building above Hyunjin’s thick eyebrows, he decided he had much less reason to own one.

The weekend before the Fall break was the mid-term showcase for the hip hop dance club, where Felix, Hyunjin, and Minho were all active members. Unlike last year’s end of term showcase, the club held its event inside the main student life building. In the style of a flashmob, they had set up speakers in the middle of a big foyer that would normally be filled with people walking around in between classes or during lunchtime. Seungmin was going mostly in support of Felix, and possibly because he was a bit excited to see Hyunjin in his element again. He pretty much forgot that Minho was a dancer and it took Felix to jog his memory the day to know that he would also be performing that day. All the other members, except Changbin who was caught waist-high in midterms (approximately knee-high for Seungmin), were also in attendance, contributing to the crowd of people formed around the ‘stage’. Unlike the last show he had been to, the club split itself up into smaller sections, allowing for different styles of hip-hop and giving each club member more time to shine. Felix was in the group to open the event with a super hyped up and high-energy number. Very flashy and based on the sheer physicality of people flying through the air or hitting the floor on beat. 

A few numbers after came Minho, who Jisung was not at all shy to hype up once he was dancing. At first Seungmin couldn’t even tell which one was him since the members in his unit all wore caps that covered their eyes, only adding to their synchronization. The movements might not have been as big but they were more fluid, each dancer in constant motion to match the sultry nature of the song. Not to mention the smooth and suave execution of the steps which weren’t at all subtle in how seductive they were trying to come across. Although Minho wasn’t singled out at any specific point in the song, Seungmin was still left with a lasting impression of his masterful bodily control and massive thighs. 

He was looking respectfully; Jeongin was not.

Towards the end of the show, Hyunjin took the front and center position of the massive horde formation. A well deserved spot because his execution of the choreography was just *chef’s kiss*. Although it was technically the most traditional hip-hop choreography to pull off, Hyunjin made it look so much more complex and intricate, integrating subtle detailed torso movements and his range of facial expressions to fully captivate his audience. Even after transitioning to a different row of dancers up front, Seungmin hadn’t lost sight of the beads of sweat dazzling Hyunjin’s forehead making his face shine more than it already was. His pure power made Seungmin a little nervous about going into today’s bootcamp. How could he prepare himself when Hyunjin wasn’t in a position to record an 8-person choreography on his own or had any means to document the steps like sheet music. Not that Seungmin was uncoordinated by any means, but he didn’t want to fall behind.

Rest assured that Hyunjin’s dancing capabilities were not as perfectly exhibited by the ‘My Pace’ choreography as they were last weekend. In order to maintain an a cappella club standard, microphones would be held at their mouths at all times, effectively restricting movements to a single arm and lower body movements. So formation changes were the only remaining threat but even then, Hyunjin planned for Seungmin and Jeongin to have little to no placement changes while the remaining members were subjected to more dynamic footwork. Small details like the angles and tension in his arms were notes that Seungmin took down on his phone; memorization might not have been a problem when he could look to Hyunjin in the mirror for quick reference although he might not have that privilege when they perform it live. The dance in all honesty was goofy-looking but that accurately embodied the song’s sentiment of dancing to the beat of one’s drum. Seungmin felt a little bit awkward during the sections where Hyunjin’s only instruction was to ‘groove’ at different degrees, basically meaning that he’d need to act with varying degrees of goofy. But that was something that he could practice by himself, or maybe with Felix’s input since he seemed to get it (he would Fortnight dance at maximum groove). 

Seungmin’s still gazing at Hyunjin’s backside when Jisung pulls the door wide open letting Minho in before him. Despite it being his birthday in less than a day, Minho is cradling a nest of their quest’s spoils in his two arms while Jisung’s courtesy ends at the doorway when he doesn’t bother to help him in handing them out. Hyunjin picks up a bottle of Gatorade and presses the bottom to the side of his neck. Due to the handiwork of Jeongin’s braces, Hyunjin’s wardrobe abruptly flipped over to Fall colors and styles, wearing turtlenecks and scarves with redder tones to save face in public. He also carried around a spoon in his pocket so he could press the flat surface into the bruise when he was around people who wouldn’t ask questions. The discoloration was unnoticeable last week, so maybe it was purely out of habit. 

Minho approaches the remaining four members, Jeongin and Felix both thank him for the sports drinks, each taking one. Minho taunts Changbin with the last bottle, twisting the cap and bringing it up to his mouth before Changbin pulls his arm away and wrestles it out of his grip. Seungmin didn’t request a bottle, content with his water; he was very particular about dental hygiene, and the sugars from the energy drink would’ve lingered all the way through Minho’s birthday lunch. Surprisingly Minho becomes seemingly uninterested once Changbin gets his way, turning on his heels to revisit the others. Jisung tries to hide an inexplicable smirk when Minho approaches. 

The scene continues to unfold and it only raises more questions. It’s a peculiar sight when a confused Chan takes a pitch pipe out of the pocket of his sweatpants and holds it out to Minho. Minho receives it gently, knowing how much value it holds for Chan. There’s a few more words exchanged between the two, while Jisung is off to the side biting on his lip. Minho twists the pipe around looking for the right note then holds it up to his mouth and forcefully blows into it. Jisung bursts out into laughter that he was barely trying to hide. Chan is still confused by Jisung’s overreaction and Minho’s remorseful looking expression as he returns the pipe. Seungmin hears Changbin mutter something under his breath, seemingly the only one who knows what the hell is happening.

Changbin is probably Seungmin’s favorite MD but he would never say that out loud. They tend to work together more often than not because they’re both lower voiced and so he’s grown accustomed to Changbin’s methods of getting things done. Compared to working with Chan, he’s more upfront with his feedback, skips out on compliments and goes straight for ways that he could do better or approach a section differently. If Seungmin asks him a question then the answer is expectedly direct and honest, without sugarcoating or excuses. It’s for these reasons that he trusts Changbin the most. Also he’s not Jisung. 

Last week Changbin had confided in Seungmin that there was a fifth song in the works that might make it into their end-of-term setlist depending on how quickly they can transcribe the music. He confessed that Seungmin’s part is a limiting factor in the process because so far he’s had it too  _ easy _ . At the start of the term they weren’t expecting him to be so keen at learning the music given that he was coming from a background without any singing experience, and so they kept his sections relatively simple. Seungmin sarcastically congratulated him for finally coming to their senses but really he was anticipating what was coming for him.

An equally confused Hyunjin departs from his current conversation to check on the remaining members, standing behind Changbin and messing up his hair with his free hand. 

“So uhh, we’re done with the choreography today. If you have questions or forget anything you can just ask and I’ll help you out”.

Jeongin raises his hand to get his attention and after Hyunjin nods at the prompt, the youngest asks, his tongue now blue, “what’s up with Jisung?”

“Yeah so, I don’t really get it either. Minho got all… weird… and then he asked Chan if he could see his pitch pipe”.

“He was blowing a ‘D’” Changbin states, “Jisung thinks it's hilarious”. 

For someone as promiscuous as himself, it takes Hyunjin an unreasonable amount of time to fully process Changbin’s explanation. He authentically gasps and covers his mouth for the few moments when Jeongin voices his disbelief and disappointment in Hyunjin. Changbin goes into his cutesy voice, reaching for Jeongin’s cheeks and starts to denounce Jisung for corrupting their baby boy, but it’s not like Hyunjin ever took Jisung to first base.

Even if Jisung’s only official title was as a musical director, he basically defines Stray Kids at this point. Two months into the term and he has yet to sing as a tenor, and it makes sense why. The way that 3RACHA produces music for Stray Kids demands a lot from whoever is singing or rapping. There hasn’t yet been a song sung by entirely one person because it’s impractical for someone to meet all the song’s requirements, but if ever, Jisung would be the first to ever pull it off. One moment he can pull off high notes like no other and then the next he’ll be rapping furiously, putting Stray Kids music directly into his wheelhouse. The way he could also convey emotion is quite admirable; both through his voice and his facial expressions he knows how to make his audience feel the way that song calls for. His potential as a performer, let alone a singer, was undeniably great and thus far a song isn’t Stray Kids’ until Jisung’s vocal color paints over it. 

Seungmin wasn’t envious of Jisung’s talent, music isn’t his long term career after all, but it’s a little offputting to be a part of ‘Jisung & Friends’ when he signed up for Stray Kids. But if Chan’s willing to let it happen then Seungmin’s not gonna cause any fuss. It was surprising to find that Chan, who’s probably just as versatile, if not more than Jisung given that his lower range is more developed, wasn’t taking the leading vocal parts in songs that he was both producing and arranging. But he explained it himself during one night of practice that he’s only going to take a part if there’s no one else who can handle it. They’ve had a chance to listen to the demo version of ‘Voices’ and yeah, Chan’s the only one in the group whose voice wouldn’t be overpowered by the background production during the chorus. 

Another glimpse at the other three members and Minho is holding onto one of Chan’s arms, bending it at the elbow and feeling up his bicep. Chan’s ears turn red and he attempts to retract his arm but Minho is shameless in the way he traces along the muscle and squeezes along his arm. Jisung starts rolling up the sleeves of his t-shirt to show off his own arms, evidently jealous of the treatment that Chan’s getting. Surprisingly he holds his own even when compared to Chan and so Minho gives him the attention that he was hoping for. Jisung reaches for Minho’s sleeves but Minho is elusive and evades Jisung’s advances. It turns into a game of cat and mouse except it’s the cat who’s being chased. Chan slips away from the homosexual agenda that Minho and Jisung are displaying and addresses the crowd.

“Minho’s offering to buy everyone lunch so unless you’re gonna turn down that offer we’re heading out now. We’ll eat and then later we’ll come back here and run through what we’re performing next week”. 

Tuesday marks their debut performance as guest performers for JYP Nation. It’s thrilling and anxiety-inducing to know that something he’s poured lots of time into will finally yield results for someone else to hear. Sticking to two songs for each guest appearance, the plan was to cycle through the three songs they’ve learned so far, skipping one of them exactly once. Since Jeongin was also a member of JYP Nation, ‘Get Cool’ wasn’t going to be on Tuesday’s setlist so that he’s not overwhelmed. So it was ‘Grow Up’ and ‘My Pace’ that would solidify Stray Kids’ existence in the club’s history. 

There’s low energy cheers that erupt and soon everyone’s up on their feet and putting on their coats and sweaters. Chan holds the door open and the strong smell of chlorinated pool water fills their nostrils. There’s a little bit of disagreement on how to leave the building but the dancers end up leading the way down a corridor and out a side entrance, passing by one of the basketball courts and an ongoing yoga class. Upon exiting the facility they all follow Minho’s lead in the direction towards wherever he wants to have his lunch. The eight of them naturally divide into pairs so as to not take up the entirety of the sidewalk, even if there’s likely no one else on campus this week. Felix nudges Seungmin’s arm with his own, but keeps his head facing forward and starts to beatbox.

The parking lot that they start to cross as a shortcut is familiar to Seungmin. While technically a longer way back to his apartment, it’s found next to one of the library exits and it’s empty by the time he’s ready to turn it in for the night, satisfied with his daily progress. It acts as a bubble for Seungmin, a few minutes where he’s disconnected and the only person in the universe is himself. He’ll empty his thoughts into the lot, talking to himself out loud, admitting his stresses or his melancholy. Although the conversations he has with himself can’t last forever because whenever he reaches the end of the lot and onto the sidewalk, a passerby on the other side of the street or a passing car will bring him back to reality.

More recently he’s been walking slower, conserving his breath and taking time to sing. Before joining Stray Kids he wouldn’t have considered it to be a hobby, mostly humming along with whatever music was playing through his earphones. But now he sings much louder, more aware of how to use his instrument. Under the streetlights on a stage of asphalt and to an audience of parked maintenance trucks, it’s one of the few places where he is the main event. Where he can belt or strain his voice if he so desires. Where no one else can hear him and he’s relieved of judgement or praise. Where he’s not expecting feedback and is satisfied with where he is presently. It’s where he can articulate his emotions in a way that isn’t nonsensical. 

It’s a space that’s unfortunately only for him to experience. 

Seungmin feels like a background character in this story. Nothing particularly interesting about him because the highlights of his day are defined by the actions of others around him. Silently observing everyone else’s episodes as they take place but acting in a minor role. Probably some quiet nerd archetype who’s always studying minus the part when he takes off his glasses and becomes instantly attractive because that’s who Minho is. Whereas everyone else has something else to look forward to or work on, Stray Kids is the only thing going for him, but even there he has a supporting role. A good enough singer that he doesn’t take on some training arc like Jeongin or Felix but not good enough to deserve anything more than ‘Baritone 1’. He understands that his section completes the sound that Stray Kids makes together yet he’s apprehensive to get comfortable where he’s found himself. Every other member’s presence seems to contribute to the group just a little bit more than he does and that just doesn’t sit right. He’s not ungrateful for the opportunity to spend time with his roommate or to be introduced to a new set of friends, but he doesn’t want to accept that this is all that is.

Then again, wasn’t he hesitant to join in the first place? Hasn’t he deflected Chan’s advances to get him into the studio to work on bigger things? He’s always had one foot in and another foot out, fearful that if he lets it dominate his time then he’ll lose track of why he’s at university. He’s been using his classes as an excuse but certainly the other members would face the same challenge while reaching for other goals as well. It’s not like his GPA is going anywhere at any point this semester because that’s where he decided to focus his time. What else was he expecting to happen after setting himself up in such a way?

“Hey,” Felix speaks quietly, his deep tone almost startling. The blond leans his body onto his arm, “you’ve been a little quiet today”. 

His roommate links their arms, showing his sign of support. Felix waits patiently for Seungmin to form a sentence. His lips settle into a rhythm to match the pace of their walking. 

“I was thinking…”

Beat. Beat. Beat.

“Felix?”

“Yeah?”

Beat. Beat. Beat.

“When’s the next time you’re gonna see 3RACHA?”

They step out to the sidewalk and the conversation continues. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get Cool:  
> Vocals/Rap: Jeongin, Jisung  
> Tenor 1: Minho  
> Tenor 2: Chan  
> Bari 1: Seungmin  
> Bari 2: Felix  
> Bass: Changbin  
> VP: Hyunjin
> 
> It would take an extraordinary level of skill to have an a capella arrangement where 8 voices each have a verse/line, and it seems extremely unlikely that you could pull this off with only 8 people. So lead vocals and rappers are chosen based on who owns the song but also has the potential to comfortably sing/rap parts that aren’t theirs. As mentioned, the all-rounders Jisung and Chan are most likely to be able to do every part if not the whole song hence why Jisung & Friends exists. I’m all for Stray Kids each being all rounders but that’s simply not true when Seungmin/I.N aren't rappers and Felix wouldn’t hold his own for tenor parts.


	7. A Claim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference, we’ll say outfits today are what they wore on the first performance of Hellevator on the survival show. 
> 
> Chapter is longer than usual. Also made an edit to the first chapter: Chan has been in the a cappella club for seven-eight terms instead of five-six.

“One, two, three, ...”

Night of JYP Nation’s showcase and it is finally time for Stray Kids to perform in front of an audience. The a cappella club booked out a student lounge that was normally filled with small armchairs arranged however the room demands. Today the seats were set up in two sections of rows facing the back wall of the room where a gap was formed between sets of speakers and even spotlights with blue filters. One corner was cramped with the sound mixers, microphones and a laptop while the other had a keyboard setup. The ‘stage’ itself was lined with chords and wires and so any floorwork of choreography was off of the table, which explains why Got7 was the only group not in attendance. 

The audience is filled with colorful clusters of students distinguishing where their allegiance was within the club. Each member of Twice had a letterman’s jacket coloured magenta. Day6 members were sporting white bomber jackets with teal motifs. Even with over forty members, JYP Nation was able to pull off a brand by accenting monochrome clothing with sky blue coloured handkerchiefs tied around their heads, necks, or arms. Predictably so, Jisung’s vision of Stray Kids was black but apparently not  _ all black  _ since a good half of the members had articles of wihite clothing showing underneath. The dress code was open to a lot of interpretations because some members looked ready to jog a mile whereas Jisung and Changbin looked like wannabe rappers. Very telling that Stray Kids was the rookie group and was still figuring itself out like a teenager going through a phase. Seungmin wore a plain black hoodie with a patterned shirt layered on top, only one button done to look ‘hip’. Jisung also insisted that Seungmin wear his contacts and instructed Felix to style his hair for him because Felix’s was usually coiffed to perfection.

The night started with an opening number from JYP Nation, covering a popular song from two years ago. The club doesn’t have forty microphones to go around and so the few mics available are spread around the crowd, giving top priority to the soloist, the bass section, and their VP. The music sounded like it was arranged well but the group’s dynamic execution made the song lack a little depth. While the ensemble group had a diverse group of students and voices, certain sections of the song were dominated by the front row of sopranos. As a result, Jeongin (in his cute blue bandana that Seungmin helped him put on), the other tenors, and many of the baritones were unable to project with the same power as the higher voices. The arrangement did however sound a little reminiscent of Stray Kids’ music when they transitioned into the bridge’s rap breakdown. Changbin was mouthing along the words and after the song was over he revealed to Seungmin that it’s actually a throwback arrangement pulled from the time when Changbin was merely a freshman baritone. 

Following the opening number were the guest performers who went up one-by-one starting with Twice. Unlike the ensemble, the group had a better control over their sopranos, performing a bright arrangement that was designed to fit around the higher voices. Their overall sound was a lot different from anything Seungmin had heard from an a cappella arrangement before since they didn’t have the same luxury of deeper registers that Stray Kids relied on heavily. In exchange their tones were soft and delicate with harmonies done in a range that only Jisung could reach through straining. Overall the layering of voices was simple yet effective for what they set out to accomplish.

Day6 followed, covering one of the songs that they had advertised at the beginning of the term. Seungmin thought he was mentally ready but by the first measure he already had goosebumps. He recognized immediately that they didn’t transcribe the original song but an acoustic version that the original artist did at a music festival a couple years ago. What was originally a lovesick, lyrically-dissonant song turned into a stripped down ballad fueled by smooth and emotional vocals. The voice that seduced Seungmin at the club’s presentation made its return with its raw vocal riff coming in the song’s bridge. It’s sufficient to say that it was an overwhelming climax for Seungmin.

He got so caught up in the moment that he almost forgot that he was about to go on stage himself. His soul left his body which apparently grabbed a microphone and shuffled in between Felix and Changbin at the front of the room, forming half of the arc behind Chan and Jisung. Chan’s pitch pipe sounded off and Seungmin’s conditioned response to match it’s pitch shook him back to reality. It was when Hyunjin counted them in that he became immensely aware of his surroundings and that there’s something important he should be giving his attention to.

The first note rings through his ears and Seungmin can feel sweat building up on his forehead and on his palms against the microphone. By now they have sung ‘Grow Up’ enough times that Seungmin's mouth is on autopilot so he instead redirects his focus into his hand holding up the microphone, letting it hover around the same distance from his mouth as he had during the mic check earlier. If his voice sounds at all shaky through the speakers it’s because he can’t keep his hand still, and so he tightens his grip, redistributing the tension around his body. 

He allows himself to loosen up by the second verse when he’s meant to sing at a subdued volume. It gives him time to get out of his head and live in the moment and that’s when he realizes that he’s singing his second verse just a tad faster than Felix on his left. Not assuming that Felix is lagging behind or that he’s the one speeding up, Seungmin looks up and listens for Hyunjin who’s positioned on the opposite end of the arc. Like he would match the pitch of Chan’s pipe he matches the tempo of Hyunjin’s rhythm, correcting his pace and rejoining the rest of the group in time, hoping that he wasn’t singing too loudly. The audience helps him out visually during the last two choruses when they sway their arms in the air in time with the song’s beat. Soon enough the song is over as quickly as it started and Seungmin’s lips are dry despite the bottles of water he’s been downing all day. 

There’s a generous amount of applause that follows, lots of people shouting out Chan’s name even if he only sung the same 8 bars three times whereas Jisung had a lot of rapping and an impressively sustained note during the bridge. Chan takes a step back and so Changbin tugs on Seungmin’s arm to move to the side so that Chan and Jisung can join them in line. 

“1, 2, 3,..” 

Chan made the eight of them do their vocal warmups twenty minutes prior to the show. Even if it meant doing in a hallway by the bathrooms, with them getting weird looks from anyone that was coming through to use the facilities. He also checked in with every member individually asking how they were feeling and how much water they’ve been drinking. This preceded a group pep talk to boost their confidence, aiming to shed their doubts or worries surrounding the performance. He put a lot of thought into making their first performance as smooth as possible, not demanding perfection, but trying to prevent preventable mistakes from occurring. What Chan wasn’t expecting however is that counting to three would only prompt half of them to say ‘step out’.

There’s a moment of confusion and mild panic when half of the group members bow to recite the tagline and the other half kinda half-ass the line and their bows. Not all members speak into the microphone and four of them don’t know what they’re supposed to do with their hands. Felix went ‘🥺👉👈’ .

“We will work on that,” Chan speaks into the microphone, playing off the situation. The audience gives short cheers and laughter in response. “Really quickly, it is an absolute honour to be performing at one of the Nation’s shows. It... it definitely feels different to be up here as a guest but I know that I, and all of my wonderful members,” he motions to the members by his side, some of which nod, “feel at home with you.”

“We love you Chan!” someone calls out.

In a touching moment, many other audience members repeat the line in unison and then there’s more clapping for Chan, even from the other Stray Kids members. Chan clutches his chest, bashfully basking in the support. 

In a sense the show is a homecoming for Chan who had only ever been in JYP Nation. As he had once explained, it was through the club that his hobby of producing music and arranging songs became an important factor when switching majors. He had been a loyal member of the group for four years and has served as its musical director for two. With JYP Nation regarded as the training period one undergoes before moving onto an auditioned group, it’s not until now that he’s ‘made it’.

His eyes are squinting and looking up like he’s holding back tears but he shakes it off physically. There’s probably a lot more that Chan wants to say but none of the other groups even introduced themselves, let alone gave a speech, so when the crowd simmers down he keeps things moving, “but yeah, for a change of pace…” he leads in. Under normal circumstances Seungmin would groan but he’s not gonna rain on his parade tonight, “...another original song, this is ‘My Pace’”. 

There’s more cheers before Chan blows Changbin his opening note and Jisung and Changbin move up to the front. In response to the risk of tripping, the choreography they learned during bootcamp isn’t going to be executed fully now, but the members were still encouraged to groove comfortably and do the hand motions during the hooks. Riding the wave of audience support, there’s less nerves and more excitement as the song progresses. For the most part Seungmin just feels as if he’s in practice and he allows himself to enjoy what’s actually a fun song to perform. Things are maybe a little too much like practices because Changbin’s first chorus starts with a voice crack and Jisung has to spend the rest of it trying not to laugh at him, breezing through with a shit-eating grin. 

And then that’s it. No other mistakes that Seungmin was able to pick up from himself or anyone else. Chan directs them off-stage and they return their mics in a certain order while the sea of blue handkerchiefs is still cheering. Chan then leads them to the back of the room while the emcees start introducing the next act to go on. 

“Okay everyone did a great job. We’ll talk more about the performance on Thursday...” He starts speaking one word at a time, bumping his fists together on each syllable, “but other than that… nar that’s it actually. There’s no after-party tonight unless you wanna help with take-down, so you guys are dismissed”.

Within one minute of Chan turning around, he’s hugged three different people, and it’s quite clear that Chan wants to catch up with some of his old friends instead of supervising his Kids. Without their leader, there’s a lack of direction among the remaining members, unsure if they’re even meant to stay together as a group like they would on any other Tuesday night. The other JYP Nation alumni all disperse into the crowd joining groups of faces that Seungmin recognizes from Chan’s birthday party. Jeongin states that he’s supposed to be in one more number but doesn’t mind missing it to get dinner whereas Felix wants to stay for the show. Seungmin proposes that they leave for dinner after Jeongin’s second performance because why else would Jeongin learn the song and it’s important that they eat. Minho seconds the idea, but says that he has an assignment that he’ll also be working on and promptly starts looking around for empty space.

When they find at most three empty armchairs, Minho pulls one away, lines it against a wall with an outlet and plops his jacket on it before leaving to fetch things from his locker. Seungmin takes one of the remaining seats for himself, and Felix let’s Jeongin sit on his lap. Felix doesn’t even last through one performance, his thighs giving out under Jeongin’s weight and Seungmin suspects that Chan might have something to do with it. So Seungmin offers up his chair to Jeongin instead, opting to half-sit-half-stand, resting one of his thighs on the armrests of Felix’s chair while the opposite leg has its foot planted on the ground. It’s not ideally ergonomic but it’s more appealing than having Jeongin’s sweaty butt or what’s left of Felix’s ass sitting on him. 

The remainder of the showcase consists mostly of JYP Nation’s members doing solo or smaller group acts. Some numbers choose to have keyboard accompaniment or an instrumental backing track. The music generally leans towards songs with challenging vocal lines and unfortunately not everyone sings a song that’s comfortably in their range. One person brought a flute and even though they played a classical piece they have friends in the audience hyping them up like they’re at a rave. Midway through the event, the executive team of JYP Nation calls up the older members of the club to do a ‘traditional’ performance. Expectedly, Chan joins them on stage but Changbin also shuffles into the back row where he’s handed a mic to be heard but he’s still too short to be seen. It’s a fun and loud number, incorporating clapping, knee-slapping, and stomping into the percussion. Chan has never looked happier relative to the contexts that Seungmin’s seen him, which recently has been more than what he’s needed to see. 

A trainwreck of a Hamilton cover leaves the stage and two names are announced for the next act. What’s clearly a couple walks up to the front hand in hand. Before any music plays they talk about the duet that they’re about to sing and how it’s special to them making Jeongin excited and Seungmin uneasy. Electronic piano keys kick off what is likely the audio of a Karaoke version found on YouTube and the audience is already ‘aww’-ing before either of them say a word. They start singing, looking deep into each other’s eyes and as happy as Seungmin wants to be for their love story, it’s a suffocating display. 

Felix is amused with how Jeongin’s vibing; the youngest sways his head side to side and singing along indicative that the song is probably from the previous century because that’s where most of his casual music tastes lie. The singing and song are fairly decent and their voices go well together but it’s the nose taps and hand holding that drive the audience wild leaving Seungmin to suffer. He takes the opportunity to get up, stretch his unbalanced legs, and see what Minho’s doing, potentially bugging him if he’s not looking too serious. Seungmin turns around and instead discovers Hyunjin standing in front of Minho’s chair and that he’s already beaten him to it because Minho is telling him to go away because he’s busy. Hyunjin pouts but Minho glares with murder in his eyes causing Hyunjin to cower and step away. Seungmin also faces the front again because he doesn’t wanna die either.

“How’s the show going Seungminnie?” Hyunjin asks. He feels one of Hyunjin’s arms wrap around his shoulders. It’s a gesture that Hyunjin does frequently on all the other group members, mostly because he’s tall enough to do it comfortably on everyone (Changbin cannot do it on Hyunjin for shit). Seungmin has not yet figured out the appropriate response to the gesture because reciprocating the action would be uncomfortable but leaning into it would be weird. For now, he just let’s it happen and focuses on the action that’s unfolding on stage. 

“It’s fun,” he replies. There’s an instrumental break during the song’s bridge and so the boyfriend takes his girlfriend’s hand and twirls her around a couple of times. The room is filled with “awws” at the movement yet Seungmin is dying inside, “but this one...”

Hyunjin grins in amusement, “not a fan of love songs?”

“No… No, like I’m- I mean they’re fine... it’s just-” Seungmin has to stop to wince when the boy takes up her hand and plants a kiss. He sighs, “it’s a lot...”

“Oh?” Hyunjin loosens his grip around Seungmin’s shoulders, lifting some of his weight from off of him. “You know it’s actually a really sweet story... those two,” he says gleefully, “they met because they both got chosen to do vocal parts on an arrangement. Wasn’t even a love song but the chemistry between them was something to admire...” Seungmin tilts his head up to the side to listen and find Hyunjin looking straight forward, eyes twinkling and reflecting the blue of the spotlights, “it was a little obvious that something was going on between them but they were both really shy about it… Took them like four- five months before they made it official?”

The couple ends the song’s outro with an attempted harmony that they both giggle at and the room has to “aww” all over again. An excess of clapping follows, including Seungmin, who’s flapping his fingers against his palm out of principle but there’s no way that the movement produces any sound whereas Hyunjin has fully retracted his arm to bring his hands around his mouth to ‘woo’ them to accompany his considerably loud claps. The cheers keep coming when there’s a peck on one of their cheeks and Seungmin wants to vomit. 

Hyunjin fully laughs, “what other music do you like, Seungmin? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you actually sing yet”. 

He raises a good point however. During their breaks and after practices there’s occasional blurting out song lyrics from some of the members. Jisung is especially guilty of bursting out into song. Seungmin concluded that Jisung’s music tastes are anything that he can sing, whether it be a 3RACHA production, lines from an operatic aria, or a radio hit intentionally sung off-key. Jeongin has moments where he’ll sing his old person music and even Felix will attempt a song he likes before getting shy and cutting out. Seungmin is a lot more reserved, preferring to keep focused on the music they’re supposed to be practicing together. 

Seungmin forces his disgust down his throat and swallows. “Pop maybe? Pop rock? Uhhh-” 

What music does he even listen to these days? Most of the time it’s Stray Kids demos otherwise it’s the same four albums he’s been listening to since high school. He honestly doesn’t know how to sum up what he listens to and then he’s hit with an accurate description: 

“What Day6 does”.

“Oh my god they sounded so great earlier didn’t they,” Hyunjin acclaims, “did you audition for them too this year?”

“I didn’t, no. Didn’t have the singing experience.”

“Wait really?” Hyunjin turns his neck toward the other, averting his gaze from the front, “Changbin says you’re one of the better singers in the group.”

_ Better? _

Also huh, Changbin’s been talking about him behind his back?

_ That bastard. _

Before Seungmin can respond, the emcee’s voice is calling up a group number featuring a familiar name. 

“Oh shit, I gotta record this one, sorry”.

Hyunjin impulsively reaches to ruffle Sengmin’s hair but stops, not wanting to ruin Felix’s work. He settles on light pats on the top of his head. There’s a quick wave goodbye and making use of his long limbs, he makes strides towards the front, dramatically weaseling his way in between two of the front row seats. He pulls out his phone to focus on Yeji who’s now taking a microphone. Hyunjin stretches his neck and rolls his shoulders accentuating white patches of fabric peeking through the holes in the back of his black t-shirt. Jisung’s layering of clothing is unnecessarily edgy, he could’ve done without the white.

“Crushing on Hyunjin?”

Slouched in his chair, his laptop plugged in and resting on his stomach, Minho stares at its screen and stirs the pot with less than half of his attention span.

“What happened to your assignment?” Seungmin takes small steps towards Minho, silently wishing that Yeji’s act is doing the absolute most and that Jeongin and Felix are paying close attention. 

“I’m only debugging,” he replies candidly. He’s scrolling his fingers leisurely across his trackpad, “I have time”.

Seungmin rotates his head in search of a clock only to discover that it is now half past ten. At this rate the only thing they’ll be able to get for dinner is pizza from that notoriously greasy place, and Jeongin has yet to confirm when he’s going back up. 

“So?” Minho calls out with a pointier tone. 

“So what?”

“You heard me,” he brings his eyes up off his screen and glares directly at Seungmin. His dark eyes are made more piercing by the angle of his head and eyebrows.

“Hyunjin?”

“You have a crush on him,” he continues with an expressionless face. “Yes or no?”

“No...” There’s a peculiar uncertainty in his voice.

“You don’t sound very sure of yourself”.

He’s painfully correct in that statement.

“Does it seem like I do?” 

“I mean you’re not very-  _ shit _ ” 

Minho’s eyes go wide and he straightens his back in his chair to reposition the laptop to sit upon his thunder thighs. He mashes the backspace button on his keyboard, looks up into nothing as he forces himself to think, letting his fingers glide over the keys in the process. There’s a sequence of fast typing and squinting into the screen, fingers wiggling in the air, followed by a succession of clicks before he leans back and starts scrolling again. 

“You’re not the only one with pretty eyes Kim Seungmin, I’ve seen how- gahh!” Probably the first time Seungmin’s ever been complimented by Minho and it’s followed by him yelling out in frustration, loudly enough that some heads turn in their direction, including Jeongin’s. Seungmin gives Jeongin a stare down until he turns back around. Minho then takes a deep breath and picks up where he left off once more. Minho’s an impressive multitasker as he continues to carry the conversation with ease, “you can’t take your eyes off of him”.

Tippity tap tap tap. Click click.

“But maybe it’s only ‘cause he’s like that.”

“...Like what?”

“Hot,” Minho replies with a deadpan expression, looking up and blinking twice at Seungmin. He reverts his attention to his screen shortly after.

Seungmin’s not in any position gonna deny a universal truth but surely he doesn’t look at Hyunjin as much as Minho’s implying.

“So I’m right then? You like him right?”

“I don’t think that’s enough to justify a crush”.

“Okay then  _ Seungminnie _ ,” he mimics Hyunjin’s sweet tone and pouts his lips to match, continuing to type or scroll regardless of his line of questioning, “if not then explain your seven minutes in heaven together”.

“My what?” 

“Jisung told me that you two were making out in Changbin’s room,” he explains, relaxing his lips, “probably exaggerated but it sounds like the Hyunjin I know”.

Seungmin needs some time to process this.

“Did he do the tongue thing on you too?” Minho asks a little too nonchalantly.

Seungmin needs a lot of time to process this.

Moments pass and Minho pauses his work to look up at Seungmin’s blank expression. He raises a challenging eyebrow, “Chan’s birthday? Were you blackout drunk that night or something?”

“I-I wasn’t drunk but we also didn’t… nothing like that happened”. He runs through the sequence of events in his head, Yeji’s voice ringing through his ears both physically and mentally. 

Carpet. Kkami. Hyunjin. Changbin. Jisung. Sangria. Sleepy. Sidewalk. Bed. 

Nothing pointing to Jisung’s accusation.

“So then you’re telling me that you were alone with Hyunjin, with  _ drunk  _ Hyunjin, and he  _ didn’t _ try to make-out with you?” 

Seungmin shakes his head slowly, to which Minho genuinely laughs out loud, attracting Jeongin’s attention again. Seungmin hopes that he hasn’t heard anything but Minho’s chain of onomatopoeias but he’ll find sooner or later because Jeongin is good at sitting on people but not their secrets. Minho’s mouth curls into a mischievous smirk once he settles down. 

“When you realize you’re lying to yourself good luck pinning him down”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will have changed the HyunChan, ChangJin, and HyunIn tags to Hyunjin/Everyone. 
> 
> I recommend the acoustic version of DAY6’s You Were Beautiful where it's only Wonpil on keys and live vocals. We’ll say that’s what sent Seungmin over the edge.
> 
> I’m also very grateful and entertained by all of your comments! I’m sorry if I haven’t really been replying but you really do make my day!


	8. A Maze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get Cool dance practice outfits. Yeah.

“I need you to do your best Jisung impersonation”.

It’s a Friday afternoon and while most people are leaving campus for the weekend, Seungmin finds himself standing in an all too familiar lounge for the Twice showcase soundcheck. Stray Kids was scheduled to be testing the microphones first and so with a couple hours before the show is scheduled to start, the lounge is practically deserted with only a handful of a cappella club members setting up the stage. Typical Seungmin came in early and ended up rearranging the chairs for the show while Chan assisted with the sound system setup. Minho frequents the lounge and so he’s been here all afternoon working on some assignment, ready to come up when the remaining members decide to show up. Chan had called Seungmin to the front of the room, both to test out the microphone’s volume and to pop the instruction.

“I’m trying to to balance the bass and main vocal since Twice does theirs differently,” Chan explains after Seungmin stares back at him blankly, “I can do the bass parts for ‘Grow Up’ but Jisung’s not gonna be here for a while so I need a replacement”.

Over the weekend Seungmin had accompanied Felix on a visit to 3RACHA’s house, going in with no expectations after they didn’t give him anything to go off of. The most that Seungmin could get out of Changbin at Thursday’s practice was that they would be ‘experimenting’ together, which wasn’t promising considering why Felix regularly met with Chan. He even asked Jeongin for a better idea but it was unlikely that Seungmin needed extra practice or would record a demo track of a song that 3RACHA made especially for him.

In time, Seungmin wound up sitting on the side Changbin's bed, toes curling in his socks with his feet brushing against a familiar carpet while Changbin sat at his desk and Jisung hovered above his shoulder. Finally working alongside Jisung for more than a few minutes, Seungmin learned that Jisung’s methods of productivity differ considerably from his own in terms of preparation and formality; Jisung tends to follow a happy-go-lucky mindset where he shows up and hopes for the best. The 3RACHA subset played the demo version of ‘I am YOU’ (stylized specially in that way) for Seungmin so he could get a feel for the song. It was unfinished and mostly instrumental but the bridge featured Felix’s deep ass voice singing, leading him to believe that the song is split between Felix and Jisung. Changbin then stripped away the song’s layers, isolating the lower instruments in the composition and had Seungmin emulate particular melodies in its production, testing out different vocables in different octaves in hopes of achieving a cohesive yet complex arrangement. 

For the first time that term, things weren’t working in Seungmin’s favor. Although he was keeping up and following their instructions just fine, Changbin and Jisung couldn’t agree on what sounded up to par with Stray Kids standards. Something about being caught in a range where his notes came out sounding too high which would’ve clashed with Jisung’s lines. Everyone grew frustrated as time continued, spending up to two hours repeatedly working on the same sections. By the end of their session, they could only settle on yet another safe and simple baritone melody for Seungmin. Since no one was completely satisfied with the outcome, there were talks about trying again on a different day, rearranging everyone else’s parts, or scrapping the song altogether. 

“...I don’t think I know Jisung’s lines?” Seungmin discloses, “at least not his rap lines”. 

He’s probably familiar with the lyrics but he’d rather not attempt rapping for the first time with a microphone in front of tens of people. He does know the bridge but he’s doubtful that Chan will ask him for that on the spot. 

Chan nods then redirects his question, “Minho, do you know Jisung’s rap in ‘Grow Up’?” 

Minho’s quick shake of his head is met with Chan sighing.

“Chan, we can wait for him to get here,” Chaeyoung buds into the conversation. She had earlier introduced herself as the musical director of Twice and Seungmin has definitely seen her at previous showcases. Something about her short black hair and long, mismatched-pattern skirt suggested ‘lesbian’ but we’re not gonna assume anything. She was maybe the same height as Changbin, but who’s to be sure?

“He’s supposed to be in a seminar right now,” Chan reasons, “and I don’t wanna hold up a line.”

Seungmin and Chaeyoung exchanged questionable glances, looking around the room for a ‘line’. There’s about ten people in the lounge total, all scattered in different corners, and a couple of them probably don’t know what they’re rearranging the room for, especially one student sleeping on two chairs pushed together to form a makeshift bed. Chan however is probably referring to what occurred at the Got7 showcase earlier that week. 

Being a dance oriented group, Got7’s showcase actually took place on a stage in one of the arts building’s theatres. All groups were held in a backstage dressing room before taking the stage, even during sound check where Stray Kids happened to be the last in the predetermined order. Even if all the members showed up to the dressing room mostly on time, they waited an additional twenty minutes before actually holding onto their mics, the groups before them all taking a little bit longer than expected. A delay was inevitable but the time spent waiting wasn’t the most comfortable experience. It was a little cramped and with people constantly walking in and out, the room started getting a little bit stuffy. Normally it would’ve been manageable but Jisung’s vision of Stray Kids’ had taken on a more intense image. Their semi-active wear was replaced with black and dark gray outfits that were sleek and more mature. He insisted on amping up their outfits when he pulled out a bag of harnesses and passed them out like a sex shop on Halloween. The reason for why he owned them was one question but whether or not they were properly sanitized is what concerned Seungmin more as he was forcefully buckled into a chained belt atop his button up shirt. They definitely looked more cohesive as a group but Jisung’s true intentions were clear the minute that Minho arrived in fitted pleather pants.

Jeongin got off easy with a mere leather armband, allowing his cute charms to shine through. There was an uproar of cheers after they performed ‘Get Cool’ for the first time, mostly for Jeongin who had a couple of friends in JYP Nation to begin with. Betting that his following would be coming to Twice’s concert as well, Jisung’s prompt for tonight was a tamer and brighter concept of plain coloured hoodies. It was pointed out that they looked like a box of crayons but Seungmin was grateful that his breathing wouldn’t be compromised in the name of fashion. Minho’s forest green hoodie wasn’t a look that Seungmin hadn’t already seen before. Chan was pushing his boundaries today, sporting a bright orange cap on top of his signature plain black look. Seungmin’s oversized white hoodie was actually a backup after his own blue hoodie didn’t pass Jisung’s ‘evaluation’. Allegedly one more color of the rainbow would’ve made them look like ‘Gay Kids’, but who are they trying to fool?

“Do you know my part Seungmin?” Chan bargains.

Seungmin nods. That he does know for sure; it’s become a parking lot staple.

“That works, Chaeyoung we can start”.

Huh.

Within seconds a slack jawed Seungmin is handed a microphone, Chaeyoung is stationed behind the soundboard, and Chan blows a note on his pitch pipe. 

“Just sing it like I would. From the end of the pre-chorus, yeah?”

When Chan starts doing the bassline leading into the chorus it comes out a lot more forceful than his previous spoken word mic tests. It’s not as booming as Changbin’s voice but it’s loud enough that all heads in the room are turned in Seungmin’s direction when he’s meant to start singing. He’s no Chan so his notes come out as mixes instead of belts not risking his mic being turned up all the way too. He hasn’t properly warmed up so voice is a little bit shaky, so it’s a little disheartening when someone in the room throws their backpack over their shoulder and walks out. He reassures himself that they probably took the hint that there’s about to be an event in the room and that he doesn’t sound completely terrible. Plus it’s not actually his part to sing, so like… he’s not supposed to sound perfect, right?

Chan cuts him off midway through the chorus as Chaeyoung fiddles with the soundboard Chan is pointing his fingers up or down while continuing to pump out the bassline as his mic’s volume steadily rises or falls. Chan briefly pulls the mic away from his mouth, 

“Seungmin, use your chest voice this time”.

Instead of giving his pitch pipe another blow Chan spews out bass notes until confirming by ear that he’s on key. Seungmin takes a deep breath and gulps before his first note. He does his best to replicate Chan’s voice on the original recording but to him it’s just yelling into the microphone. His breathing isn’t the most consistent when trying to match Chan’s power but he’s still hitting the notes, just maybe not with perfect timing. Chaeyoung starts beatboxing softly and even though it’s not the original rhythm, it still guides Seungmin along.

When Seungmin finds the courage to face his audience, little does he know that Hyunjin and Jeongin have since arrived in matching outfits and are perched on the armchairs next to Minho. It’s shockingly brilliant how spot-on Jisung’s styling was with the two of them alone capturing the elements of ‘Get Cool’. Jeongin’s hair has a tiny ponytail on the top, and coupled with his pair of overalls it’s devastatingly adorable. Hyunjin however looks extra as hell but looks 100% hip-hop in his neon green hoodie, distressed denim overalls, and white bucket hat. They’re both smiling at him but then Seungmin realizes that he’s staring so he hurriedly looks to the floor hoping Minho didn’t notice just now. He focuses back on Chan who, along with Chaeyoung, is nodding a beat with his head while her fingers are tapping along on the side of the soundboard. 

After Minho confronted him last week, Seungmin has since become aware of his habit of wandering eyes. Although he tends to keep an eye on every member’s actions, whenever he’s caught himself looking at Hyunjin he’s urged himself to stop shortly after. It didn’t help that Seungmin kept having to look for Hyunjin to remember dance steps whenever they do ‘My Pace’, and the chest harness that Jisung put on Hyunjin only made him feel guiltier for stealing glances. And now that he’s dressed as a damn highlighter where else are his eyes supposed to go? 

Minho’s presence in the room is usually what started his guilt trips because he doesn't want to give him the satisfaction that he might actually have a thing for Hyunjin. To stay relatively sane, Seungmin does what he does best when he’s caught in some sort of inner turmoil: gaslight himself.

Rather than calling it infatuation, Seungmin has convinced himself that his feelings towards Hyunjin are purely respect and gratitude. He’s thankful that Hyunjin is a reliable vocal percussionist with a consistent sense of rhythm who also can steadily adapt to the tempo that the main vocalists have made for themselves. That he’s a very considerate choreographer who’s more concerned with vocal stability than accurate execution. Even outside of the group he rather enjoys the conversations he’s had with Hyunjin, since he’s open to all sorts of interesting conversation topics. His voice is mostly sweet, his words are well-spoken, and he’s easy to read because if he’s not emoting with his face he’s expressing himself with the rest of his body. He’s a little bit impressionable and it’s endearing to watch him getting flustered because he’ll fall apart in more ways than one, ears turning pink and tongue getting tied when he winds up apologizing when there’s nothing to fault him for. And Seungmin will admit to the fact that Hyunjin is visually appealing. His raven hair is striking against his smooth, tan skin dotted with birthmarks and moles that Seungmin happens to find a new one every now and then. Classically compatible features including a cheerful eye smile, thick yet well-maintained eyebrows, and luscious pouty lips. 

But it’s not a crush though. Those things would be objectively true even if Seungmin had a crush on him. ‘Cause ya know, he doesn’t... 

He’ll admit that one night he stayed up watching the recording of the hip hop club’s flash mob event, initially to satisfy his curiosity in regards to why Hyunjin’s so captivating. Then replaying the recording because he realized that dancer Hyunjin is a completely different person than the Hyunjin he’s come to know through Stray Kids. A couple more replays to fully appreciate Hyunjin’s flow and intricate footwork. More replays to pick up on smaller details like his cocky smirk and alluring eyes to match his satisfying body language. Just when he thought he was done, he began a deep dive into Hyunjin’s Instagram account where he mostly posted scenic shots or Kkami, eventually reaching all the way back to 2016 when Kkami was first adopted. He found out a little more about Hyunjins interests through the tags and artists that he followed. At some point he found Hyunjin’s dance related account where he seemingly posted clips from the hip hop club’s meetings. 

It was a long night. Still not a crush though.

Seungmin’s just been deciphering the enigma that is Hwang Hyunjin, spending a concerning amount of time and staying up late investing into his many talents. It’s a mystery that Hyunjin is someone that Seungmin considers worthy of his attention so late at night. Especially when he doesn’t have a crush on him or anything of that nature.

Where Seungmin seems to get stuck is what really happened at Chan’s birthday almost a month ago. It wasn’t until after Minho put the idea in his head that Seungmin could possibly entertain the possibility that Hyunjin had possibly attempted to possibly come onto him, possibly. It seems out of character for Seungmin to find himself in such a situation but if drunk Hyunjin’s as  _ easy _ as Minho claims, then it’s not completely farfetched to think about. Seungmin’s recollection of that night has only gotten blurrier through the alcohol and the time that has since passed but he’s been able to sort through some of the moments that definitely happened. For example, Hyunjin hasn’t soberly reintroduced Kkami to Seungmin when showing off new photos that he’s received from his parents.

It’s perplexing to think that Hyunjin would try to make out with him that night then act as if nothing happened afterwards. His behaviour around Seungmin hasn’t seemed to have changed and if anything his interactions with Hyunjin would have remained the most stagnant after the alleged incident. With Seungmin starting to work closer with 3RACHA, being asked by Jeongin to duet for the Stray Kids showcase, and now sleeping with one eye open because of Minho, his dynamics within the group have mostly shifted. Whereas Hyunjin’s presence has only ever been pleasant or mutually symbiotic, polite greetings when arriving at practice or exchanging lecture notes for class. Maybe one new thing is that Seungmin’s contact name on Hyunjin’s phone has since been changed from ‘Kim Seungminnie’ to ‘Kim Seungminnie (dog), which reinforces the fact that the whole puppy eyes exchange took place but again doesn’t support why Hyunjin would want to make out with him.

After reviewing the evidence, Seungmin had settled on his theories for what really happened in Changbin’s bedroom that can possibly explain Hyunjin’s behaviour then and now. In order of feasibility they are as follows:

Theory One: Hyunjin didn’t try to make out with him, Minho was gaslighting Seungmin, and now Seungmin is overanalyzing something without inherent value.

Theory Two: Hyunjin didn’t try to make out with him because even if Minho’s description of drunk Hyunjin is accurate, he has high standards that Seungmin doesn’t meet.

Theory Three: Hyunjin did try to make out with him because Minho’s description of drunk Hyunjin checks out, but they didn’t actually make out.

Theory Four: Hyunjin did make out with Seungmin, except they were actually both blackout drunk that night explaining why nothing has changed.

Seungmin was hoping to disprove at least three of his theories and he wasn’t sure which ones he would want to be true either. There’s not really a clear cut way of how he would go about accomplishing his goal without fully exposing his not-a-crush to one of the members. There’s also no way he’s going to confront Hyunjin about what happened a month ago. As long as Hyunjin’s acting normally around Seungmin then Seungmin will act as normally as possible too. It works out that they hardly see each other outside of Stray Kids or rarely work together one-on-one during their practices; Seungmin’s currently at a low risk of completely annihilating his relationship with Hyunjin.

At the end of the chorus, Chan calls Hyunjin up to the front, leaving Seungmin with the impression that he’s done a satisfactory job. He extends his arm to return the microphone back to Chaeyoung but before he can rotate his body a lime colored sleeve finds its way over his shoulder keeping him in place. 

Chan asks, “do you two wanna sing ‘Grow Up’ for the Stray Kids showcase?” 

Seungmin’s eyes widen as he takes another gulp.

“Felix wants to try beatboxing at some point and ‘Grow Up’’s not too complicated,” Chan explains, crossing his arms, “I’ll convince Jisung to give you his rap parts Hyunjin then Seungmin, you can take my parts out of ‘fairness’”.

“I could help Felix with the VP part if you’d like Chan”.

“That would be great Hyunjin, thanks! Seungmin, what do you say?”

“...Do I even have a choice?”

“Um... I can’t really force you to do it I guess,” Chan reasons, “but you sounded fine just now so I know you are capable of doing it if that helps.”

“I think you would do a great job Seungminnie,” Hyunjin beams, moving his hand to pet his head softly.

“We’ll maybe only need a couple of run throughs during one of our practices, mostly for Felix,” Chan continues, “it’ll be good practice if we decide to put you on the main vocal on ‘I am YOU’ too”.

His eyes manage to shoot even more open, “you did what?”

“Yeah, so after Changbin got back to me I pulled an all-nighter remixing the original track and arranging it into more of a ballad. That way it’s more suited to your style”.

“My style-?”

“Channnnnn!” 

The room’s attention turns to a pink sweater as it scurries and down the aisle between the rows of armchairs, the contents of an accompanying backpack bouncing up and down behind it. Jisung makes a stop in front of Minho and Jeongin, shrugs off his bag, and drops the coat he was holding onto the armchair. He calls Jeongin cute as he pokes one of the buttons on his overall straps, and by the time he’s made his way to the front he’s pushing his hair out of his eyes and he’s mildly out of breath.

“I’m skipping class, what did I miss?” 

Chan starts to explain but Jisung’s more focused on Hyunjin’s outfit when he starts to tug at one of Hyunjin’s sleeves and then one of his pant legs. After a nod of approval he lightly pushes him aside to get a better look at Seungmin, looking him up and down, and then points at his legs

“Why do your jeans have no rips?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grow Up V2:  
> Vocal/Rap: Seungmin, Hyunjin  
> Tenor 1: Jeongin  
> Tenor 2: Minho  
> Bari 1: Jisung  
> Bari 2: Chan  
> Bass: Changbin  
> VP: Felix
> 
> For reference, Chaeyoung’s height is 5’2 (159 cm).
> 
> Also the leather outfits are inspired by 191110. 
> 
> Seungmin: It's not a crush  
> Me: Writes 1k words gushing about Hyunjin.


	9. A Bridge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have added titles to all the previous chapters and will continue to title chapters moving forward. The meanings are both written and verbal.
> 
> Sorry for a long wait, I have been busy and unmotivated. Errors might be in place but hopefully nothing contradicting the story.

“Focus on your rap”.

With Chan’s precise wiring powers, the lounge area setup for a makeshift stage was vacant enough to have the Stray Kids showcase open with ‘My Pace’ in its fully choreographed glory (but maybe with slightly smaller movements and formations). Changbin hadn’t had a voice crack since their first showcase but every member almost expects him to, not letting him live it down. Although Jisung was caught messing up a dance move so shortly after vacating the stage he was called out and rightfully so. Jisung started to defend his case, stating that it was during his part so he would’ve had creative liberty to ‘freestyle’. Hyunjin replied, jokingly suggesting that he paid more attention to his dancing which only set Jisung off. 

Starting with Jisung, the two made snide comments at each other under their breaths when JYP Nation performed, their whispers concealed by the ensemble group’s newest cover arrangements. Even Jeongin who was singing up at the front seemed to take notice, keeping his eyes trained on the pair as the pair exchanged quips of sass. Seungmin had known that they weren’t exactly the closest, but from the sharp-tongued whispers he could overhear, Hyunjin and Jisung had quite the list of strong feelings against each other dating back to first-year. It really was _a lot_ , because they lasted through JYP Nation’s whole set and nearly continued into Day6’s. It took a fed up Minho to put an end to their bickering when he forced his chair into the gap between them and took his seat directly in their line of fire. It was one thing to air out their dirty laundry during the Stray Kids showcase when drawing attention to their rivalry could jeopardize the group’s cohesive sound, but the nerve of some people; had Minho not interfered, they would’ve distracted Seungmin from Day6’s immaculate set. 

Based on their chemistry and relative popularities, Hyunjin and Jeongin were the showcase’s designated emcees, meaning that they were to introduce acts as they came up, taking turns depending on which one of them should be getting ready to perform next. Hyunjin took advantage of his role, taking a jab at Jisung right before ‘Get Cool’ when he ‘forgot’ to introduce Jisung as the song’s rapper. Though he apologized to Jisung and the audience after his ‘mistake’ was corrected, Hyunjin wasn’t very good with concealing his true feelings.

After Twice finished off their set and in turn the list of guest performers for the night, Seungmin’s mind began to fill with anxious thoughts, every moment counting down to the duet he had prepared with Jeongin. 3RACHA’s group number however served as a great distraction. He had listened to some of their mixtapes previously, but he hadn’t recently revisited their Soundcloud since hip hop isn’t his go-to genre. However, hearing them live was a completely different experience; before any of them said a word just the beat drop and ad-libbed one liners were so captivating for the whole audience. It’s a complete lie to say that 3RACHA merely warmed up the crowd after they doused the stage with rhythmic kerosene and committed lyrical arson. It took just the one song for Seungmin to completely rethink his preconceived notions of just how talented they were as both producers and performers. He was fully convinced that the trio had the potential to make a career out of it if they really wanted to pursue music production full-time. Changbin was a standout for Seungmin, left in awe of how he commands his rap voice so loudly and in such a raspy tone that somehow won’t cause a sore throat the day after. 

They performed what could’ve been a diss track, going off of how hard Jisung went in, weaponizing the song to build into his counterattack. His enunciation was aggressively crisp and crispy aggressive while he employed every inch of his vast range of inflections spanning octaves which really was a spectacle of Jisung’s musicality. Jisung was still holding onto the cockiness he had developed in the first verse by the time he redelivered the wham line that caused the initial spark. 

After returning his mic, Changbin takes Jisung by the shoulders and steers him away from causing any further trouble. Chan takes the reins of the soundboard, relieving Hyunjin who manned the system in Chan’s absence. From the sidelines Seungmin watches Hyunjin get back up on stage to emcee. It seems that Jisung struck a chord due to Hyunjin’s gradually depleting enthusiasm. He introduces Seungmin in a mellow voice and it’s a little strange to hear Hyunjin not refer to him by his nickname. Seungmin is barely aware of his surroundings when Chan hands him a mic and Felix’s single cheer alerts him just a bit. It’s when Jeongin’s name yields cheering and hyped up yelling that he actually does snap out of his head. 

He drags his feet into the front of the room, taking hold of the back of his chair that Hyunjin had just pushed forward. He takes his seat stiffly, sitting on its edge but watches Jeongin do the opposite, slouching into the chair opposite of his. Scattered shoutouts of the younger’s friends in the crowd ringing through his ears and his fingers twitch as he stares down at his microphone, remarking the green tape wrapped around it and the lack of adhesive on one corner after being used by sweaty palms for the past month. Seungmin's a little rattled when the song’s brief intro starts without warning and he raises the mic to his mouth for his opening line.

Seungmin keeps his eyes open as much as he can, swapping between Jeongin and the landscape of heads in the audience filled with students in their respective group attire. There was no  _ external _ pressure to do well since the whole night was supposed to be a good time for everyone in the group (by now they had already locked in a guest appearance at Day6’s show), but in Seungmin’s case it was his first time at the forefront of two numbers, being his karaoke duet with Jeongin and right after on ‘Grow Up’. Sure, he had gotten used to the nerves that came with singing as a group vocalist, but as a main vocalist all ears would be focused on him and any mistakes wouldn’t be hidden behind Felix or Chan. He was very thankful that Jeongin asked if he wanted to do a duet because captivating an audience for a whole song on your own seems too stressful. None of the other members were soloing either, other than maybe Hyunjin who was actually gonna give out ‘chair’ dances in just a bit. 

At least for Seungmin, it’s more comfortable to sing to the crowd of colorful club merch as if the remaining Stray Kids in their individual white shirts were absent. He’s definitely seen some of the other students around campus and even some in his larger classes, but the most that an audience member would know him for is the group that he’s in. They don’t have a sense of his voice or how well he should be able to use it, and so for most part, he’s got a pretty low bar set for him. Conversely, by now the rest of Stray Kids has listened to his take on ‘Grow Up’ and would have definitely compared his vocals to those of Chan and Jisung. Then they’ve also heard him and Jeongin at soundcheck but at least for this one, it was a one time thing and he could easily forget about it once it’s over.

For completely non-not-a-crush related reasons, it’s Hyunjin’s presence that makes him the most nervous. During soundcheck Hyunjin had told their duo that the song they picked was performed by one of his favourite artists and Seungmin had to act surprised and as if he didn’t already know that he followed the group’s members on Instagram (it was Jeongin who picked the song after all, Seungmin would never-). With that, there were stakes to keep Hyunjin’s opinion on the song to remain positive. That coupled with the fact that Hyunjin’s one of the members who’s heard him sing ‘Grow Up’ the most; the two of them had gone over the song with 3RACHA so that they could better suit the newer pairing. Adjustments were made to have Hyunjin whistling to bookend the song and Seungmin ended up getting Jisung’s high note in the bridge because apparently he could do it. And so Hyunjin knows exactly how Seungmin’s voice is supposed to sound, aware of all of the tips and feedback he received from Chan, and so possibly after ‘Grow Up’ Hyunjin will tell him to focus on his singing next. Probably not though. 

The original song actually is a duet but to account for Jeongin’s vocal range being a bit less wide than Seungmin’s, there was a redistribution of the lines in certain sections. Jeongin’s been a lot more stressed about his voice cracking or giving out midway through, and Seungmin had to bottle up his own worries and reassure Jeongin that he would be fine. Throughout the week there have been moments when Jeongin didn’t think he would be able to pull off certain notes or melodies, persuading Seungmin to take them instead but Seungmin refused to believe him. They reached a compromise by cutting out the second verse and chorus so that they would both have less lines to tackle and Seungmin wouldn’t need to memorize any more lyrics. 

In retrospect, the shortened song was a really great decision because the song passes so quickly and Seungmin smiles as he sings his last line which leads directly into Jeongin’s. The younger’s eyes flutter open at the sound of his blue note and he pulls the mic away from his face to take in a big breath of air, which Seungmin finds to be very relatable. He claps along with the audience whose applause is quite generous for a rather short performance but Jeongin looks happy and Seungmin is proud of him for not pulling a Changbin. 

Seungmin peels himself off of his chair, does what could be considered a bow, then drags his chair away from the front to clear the space for the next number, lightly waving his other hand in the audience’s direction. He’s unsure if he should bother to step off to the side since he doesn’t have to switch out his mic, but he decides against it, letting Jeongin take the floor for himself once both chairs are displaced. Naturally, Jeongin is shy to accept the audience’s praises and instead deflects them to Seungmin’s dismay. 

“... and that was actually Seungmin’s first time singing live-” Jeongin’s giggling filling the air to be drowned out by an even louder round of clapping and supportive strangers cheering him on in the first few rows. Seungmin feels heat rising to his cheeks and it’s Felix who meets him at his side, forcing him into a hug which drags his body down just a little.

“You were so great!” Felix beams proudly and locks him in place. With the rest of his movements restrainedhe flails around his forearms as he’s forced to endure Jisung roughly ruffling his hair, Chan’s grip squeezing on his shoulders, and Minho slapping his butt. He should have seen it coming since Jeongin received similar treatment backstage after ‘Get Cool’ was first performed. Eventually he shrugs everyone off of him to locate his water bottle to care for his drying lips but it’s not on the chair where he left it. Instead, Changbin’s holding it out for him with a smirk. Seungmin squints his eyes at the shorter and sticks out his also dried up tongue but he’s in no mood to act mad at him. He accepts his offer and momentarily exchanges his mic for his bottle so that he can uncap it. When he goes to take a sip, Hyunjin’s sudden presence from behind causes him to jump and he ends up taking a much bigger gulp, cheeks resembling those of Jisung’s normally. 

“You sang perfectly,” he says softly, prompting Changbin to smile even bigger. Seungmin uses his thirst as an excuse to nod and avoid giving a direct response, swishing his water around in hopes that it’ll reduce any pink undertones. If he is blushing he can blame the red filter on the spotlights. 

He relocates his eyes to his microphone in Changbin’s hand, shuffles his feet once so that he’ll face the space between Changbin and Hyunjin as water slides down his throat. He swallows and a “thanks'' is the only thing he can muster in the moment; they’ll all talk about the show at next week’s meeting but the show must go on and Jeongin’s already led into his introduction to ‘Grow Up’. Chan comes up from behind Changbin to offer him a mic and is momentarily confused as to why he already has one. Changbin takes the mic anyway and holds it at his side while Chan hands off another to Hyunjin. Hyunjin lightly purses his lips staring down at it.

  
  


“Nervous?” Changbin asks, facing Hyunjin and holding out Seungmin’s mic. Seungmin sets down his bottle of water and takes both his mic and a second to think about it for himself. He’s a little nervous but in a good way, maybe a little bit relieved after his first song. But Hyunjin carefully cradling his microphone makes him aware that he’s probably in a much better mindset in comparison

Changbin lays a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder, then does the same to Seungmin except he has a microphone where his palm would be. His hand applies a slight amount of pressure and Seungmin realizes that Changbin’s trying some sort of grounding technique. It works, and it gives Seungmin the opportunity to close his eyes and breathe deeply. He takes in the details of his surroundings, replacing the thoughts that he’s been holding onto from earlier. Upon opening his eyes he’s less concerned about himself, but Hyunjin’s state hasn’t appeared to have changed.

“Okay?” Changbin prompts. Seungmin nods and so does Hyunjin, but the latter’s are more unsure. 

As they approach the stage Seungmin feels compelled to poke Hyunjin in the arm with his microphone and he does very lightly, using the end that won’t get projected out of the speakers. As his consciousness for his actions grows, he cringes internally but the gesture is enough to get out a smile from Hyunjin, but it’s weak when his eyes are neither twinkling nor crescent-shaped. 

By now Jeongin’s already called up the members to the stage and they’re waiting for the three of them to step up to the front. “This is also Seungmin’s first time performing this song as the lead singer!” Jeongin says to fill in the silence. While the proceeding crowd shout outs are encouraging, they don’t reassure him that Hyunjin is 100% present when they get into their arc formation. He takes one last glance at Hyunjin who’s taking a deep breath and takes one for himself before redirecting his attention to the audience. 

Chan’s pitch pipe goes off and Seungmin matches the note inaudibly even if he’ll come in midway through the song and it’s probably not the note he starts with. Despite Felix’s ascension to VP, Hyunjin still counts them in and the first measure begins with his whistling. He doesn’t exactly nail the melody but it’s still rather impressive to hear the sound adding another layer to the arrangement. 

The sight of the audience waving their hands allows Seungmin to loosen up and join in. It’s cheesy and not everyone’s in sync but somehow it helps. He mouths along what has now become Jisung’s part after having practiced it many more times than his main vocal part. He remarks that Felix’s percussion is more jarring than Hyunjin’s. The intro isn’t even finished and Seungmin is no longer worried about singing out of time because that boy is probably deep throating his microphone to have his bass drum sound that pronounced. Chan taught him well.

Hyunjin starts off his first verse. Stylistically his rapping differs from Jisung ever so slightly, flavouring his lines with just a little something extra, just like he would as a dancer. Seungmin doesn’t prefer either over the other, but it’s refreshing to have literally anyone else rap at this point so Hyunjin’s voice is more pleasant to listen to. Seungmin realizes that in this section of the song there’s nothing to wave along too, lowering his arms and letting them go stiff. He continues to fidget his hands supposedly feeling the rhythm of Hyunjin’s flow, but then he instead feels Hyunjin’s hand with a light tap across his hip. 

It takes a second for Seungmin to realize that Hyunjin is crying. Seungmin’s eyes widen and he doesn’t know how to react.

Hyunjin isn’t hiding anything as he motions behind Seungmin who’s slender frame doesn’t fully conceal him. His hand still firmly grasps onto the mic but both his words and eyes are watered down. For whatever reason Hyunjin is still rapping as if tears aren’t reason enough to restart or stop the whole number entirely. Seungmin reaches up for his arms, attempting to pull the mic away but before he can it’s Chan who stands beside the two of them, pulling all three of them into a hug, somehow Chan’s vocals are still coming out clearly as he projects his voice into the microphone that he now holds further away from his face. 

Seungmin pulls in closer to Hyunjin, giving him an awkward looking hug putting him closer to his ears. Away from a mic and under his breath Seungmin calls his name. Hyunjin shakes his head and wipes at his eyes. He’s trying to pull himself together as quickly as he fell apart but his eyes are tightly shut and his face is fully red. Then Changbin comes up behind Seungmin, half concentrating on his bassline while Hyunjin makes up the rest of his concerns. Jisung decides to pick up the rap starting from the second verse but in turn the arrangement is missing its Baritone 1. Seungmin raises his mic to his mouth, switching vocal gears back to his original part but the second verse is almost complete and the chorus means he has to come in with his chest voice in less than a measure. 

Seungmin doesn’t sing the chorus. Changbin had also put his mic down and is now holding onto Hyunjin’s hand. The others slowly resign their mics marking the end of the number. Chan starts to distract the audience, somehow sneaking in a joke to replace the whispers and murmuring with weak laughter. Seungmin watches as Jeongin and Felix both come up in front of Hyunjin both to cover and hug him but he’s already buried himself into Changbin’s arms so the most they can do is pat him on the back repeatedly. 

Hyunjin’s efforts to hold back tears have since gone out the window and fortunately Jeongin has since confiscated his mic and his wails muffle into Changbin’s shoulder instead. One of Changbin’s arms is wrapped around, its corresponding hand patting Hyunjin on the back, while the other is holding out his microphone, which Felix takes and holds onto, unsure of whether to put it down. Changbin mumbles into Hyunjin’s ear prompting the taller to lift his head up, exposing his puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks Changbin’s arm comes back around reaching over his shoulder, and he pivots the both of them to the side of the room and begins to lead Hyunjin off the stage and escorts him out the hallway. Seungmin watches as Changbin’s head bobs up and down, his feet half limping as he needs to walk on his tiptoes to keep his arm around Hyunjin’s neck. As badly as Seungmin wants to follow them, he knows that he has no personal protocol for cheering up a crying person. If it was Felix then maybe he’d just hug him but he’s not gonna assume that Hyunjin’s the same. He’ll have to trust Changbin on this one.

Chan’s still working the crowd, in talks of some type of intermission when a small hand on Seungmin’s back gives him a light push. Seungmin’s feet pick up towards the sound system side of the stage where the members have grouped up temporarily. 

“-no one’s gonna want a lapdance from me,” says Minho in a serious, dissonant tone. 

“Jisung would,” Jeongin teases when Jisung drags in Felix and closes off their huddled circle.

Jisung who genuinely has no idea what Jeongin’s implying speaks, “is this about Hyunjin’s lap dance thing?” Jeongin’s nod prompts him to continue, “I’m not gonna give a lapdance to some random person no, that’s his thing. We can just wait until he’s like…  _ not _ sad”.

“How about we don’t… we shouldn’t put him under any more pressure tonight,” Felix suggests.

“We still need him to do ‘Voices’, we can just stall or something...” Jisung says quickly. He looks each remaining member in the eyes but no one has any ideas so he picks up the slack himself, “let’s do a rap battle”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voices:  
> Vocal/Rap: Chan, Jisung  
> Tenor 1: Minho (ahhhhhhhh)  
> Tenor 2: Jeongin  
> Bari 1: Seungmin  
> Bari 2: Felix  
> Bass: Changbin  
> VP: Hyunjin
> 
> White similar to 180815 Show Champion. Unit performances are from the early SKZ-Players. 3RACHA would’ve done Zone. VocalRACHA would’ve done Tomorrow, Today. DanceRACHA. 
> 
> A lot happened this chapter and everything reads very quickly, I already feel as if my writing style for this peaked in one of the more recent chapters, but we'll see how the rest turn out. Details in my writing are slowly leaving because now I have to describe situations I haven't been in before oop.
> 
> I will try to have the next chapter up in less than 3 weeks. Sorry :( .


	10. A Mount

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is Gay is such an unrealistic trope. Hence I will say sexuality is fluid, everyone is somewhere on the spectrum. In universe, the extremes (most gay and most straight) are Seungmin and Jeongin. 
> 
> This is a long chapter but it’s okay because it’s all SeungJin.

“Then you can sit on my lap”.

  
  


The rest of the showcase happened.

Not wanting a one-sided rap battle the remaining subset of members instead took turns freestyling one after the other. Those who had never tried rapping went first so that the bar would be low, whereas Jisung went last to ensure that the segment wouldn’t end up in second-hand embarrassment. Seungmin had to follow up Jeongin who knocked it out of the park by simply repeating his name multiple times and the leftover hype from Jeongin’s other friends only turned up the pressure. The experience as a whole was a blur and the only memorable line Seungmin delivered was “Seungmin in the building”. It seemed to stick because the members would all repeat it when he walked into their practice room.

Inconveniently, the freestyle rap segment didn’t last long enough for Hyunjin to fully collect himself. Chan had a laptop full of 3RACHA content but with Changbin calming Hyunjin down, the trio wasn’t in the position to get back on stage. In need of something else to stall, Minho and Felix offered up a freestyle dance number since neither of them prepared an act for themselves. Not wanting to waste what was supposed to be Hyunjin’s act and song, Minho and Felix both took on the role of being their resident male strippers-who-don’t-get-naked. However a problem arose when Hyunjin’s friends who would’ve been okay with getting a lap dance from Hyunjin weren't on board with getting one from Minho or Felix. Minho and Felix did invite a couple people to the show each but they either left early or weren’t comfortable with the idea either. As a consequence, the hot seat was dramatically raffled off to the remaining members of Stray Kids and it was ultimately Jeongin who ‘lucked’ out.

  
  


A week later and Seungmin is also hesitant to take a seat. He’s offered a spot on a wooden bench parked outside of one of the science buildings next to none other than Hyunjin. The two had met earlier in the library so that Seungmin could catch Hyunjin up on a lecture that he had missed due to an appointment and thankfully Minho wasn’t there to make anything awkward. It was then where he found that sitting with Hyunjin is perfectly fine so long as they’re not directly across from each other. 

Hyunjin wasn’t the root of his hesitation however (except maybe now that he’s offered up his lap). The problem is rather the bench and the surrounding circumstances. It’s November and after sunset so the only source of light is a lamppost six meters away. The surface of the paint chipped wood is bound to be vastly colder than Seungmin’s body temperature, and unlike Hyunjin who’s wearing a thick pair of sweatpants, Seungmin’s khaki’s aren’t gonna save him if he’s to take a seat. 

But it’s that or Hyunjin.

“I’ll manage...” 

Seungmin takes little steps to reverse park his butt on the spot beside Hyunjin. He’s lucky that he owns a long puffy coat because he ingeniously uses his coattails to pillow the surface and spare his cheeks from devastation. It’s not long enough however to protect his whole leg because the underside of his thighs makes direct contact with the bench and it's not a pleasant feeling. He reacts with a breathless “gahh”, then hisses as he adjusts to the unideal sensation below him. He hears Hyunjin snicker but all his attention is drawn to his hands rubbing against his thighs for warmth. 

“I was protecting your legs from me, be nice”.

“What is there to protect me from?”

“Wouldn’t want your legs to get sore when you have dance, something like that”.

“Unless you’re heavier than two Changbin’s, I don’t see that happening”.

Seungmin sees the holes in his claim too.

  
  


At the practice prior to the showcase, Hyunjin gave a preview of what he was planning to do for his dance performance. Using an eager Felix as his partner for a demonstration, Hyunjin half-seriously went through his routine consisting of body rolls and hip thrusts, moving very sensually and sexily (objectively speaking mind you). His dancing background definitely gave him adequate thighs to support Seugmin’s weight if necessary. 

So while Hyunjin was missing in action, his two understudies had a vague idea of what they were supposed to do, all in good fun and spirit. Minho however also had other ideas for what it meant to give a lap dance and decided to go all in. As soon as the first line played, he was handsy and impressively did so in time with the song’s beat (he was familiar for whatever reason). The display was well received by the audience and the remaining members but maybe not for Jeongin himself. Felix pushed Minho off of the youngest before he could properly straddle the chair. 

From that point on Minho kept minimal levels of physical contact, dancing around him or in front of him, more so for his audience. He kept up with Hyunjin’s controlled movements but fully executed and connected unlike the trial that Hyunjin had done. Minho did manage to keep things fresh for the first half of the song before he shocked everyone pulling off a dolphin dive. The floorwork then led into him thrusting his hips and thighs directly in the direction of the other members. Jisung fell off his chair. Seungmin shielded his eyes but did enjoy the view.

Sometime during Felix’s half of the act, Changbin and Hyunjin returned to the room. The latter appeared to be stable, immediately apologized for his earlier breakdown, with his eyes still red and drying. Hyunjin offered to do ‘Grow Up’ again but he wasn’t convincing enough for Chan to give him a go ahead. They ended up closing the show with ‘Voices’, which had Changbin’s arm around Hyunjin’s waist for extra support. 

There was a small after party chez 3RACHA but Seungmin arrived after almost an hour of helping with stage deconstruction and storing away the equipment. Alongside Felix, Jisung and Changbin were supposed to be the ones doing take down but Changbin had to watch over Hyunjin for the night and Jisung made the argument that he would be physically incapable of carrying the speakers with Changbin not there. And so Chan and Seungmin, who had both helped with the show’s setup, swapped places with Changbin and Jisung respectively; Seungmin really did take Jisung’s place in holding doors open.

Fortunately when they did have everything put away and arrived at the house, the party was only getting started and Jeongin even saved Seungmin a can of sangria as requested. The audience of club members did enjoy the show and the attendance at the afterparty wasn’t too bad either so the group had every right to celebrate what was mostly a successful night. But even with how entertainingly embarrassing it was to watch Jisung drunkenly throw himself onto a sober Minho in hopes of a personal lapdance, it didn’t feel quite right to party without Changbin and Hyunjin, who were only down the hall in Changbin’s room. Felix at some point brought Changbin a beer but Hyunjin apparently didn’t have anything to drink that night. Given how long the day was as a whole and that there was still class to attend in the morning, Seungmin and Felix both got a ride home by Minho, with Seungmin who had less than one drink. 

  
  


The cobblestone walkways are bare, certain students in the distance occasionally walk across the campus with their lamplit shadows far from reaching the ground beneath Seungmin’s feet. A couple of months ago the area might be radiating with life and groups of students stroll or even biking towards the plaza for dinner, but neither the weather nor the professors are as friendly at this time of the year. 

Stray Kids was in the middle of having its scheduled Thursday meeting with Seungmin and Hyunjin away on a special mission. Anticipating that they would be needing an extra hour of practice, Chan wanted to get their usual dinner in the form of takeout so that they could eat midway through instead of after when the restaurant would be nearing its closing time. Seungmin and Hyunjin were chosen to pick up the order since both of them had previously or were going to learn their respective parts of ‘I am YOU’ outside of their scheduled meeting time. Considering the size of their food order for eight, Seungmin knew that it would take at least twenty-five minutes before it would be ready for pickup. Not wanting his coat to smell too much like sesame oil, Seungmin was about to suggest that they could just wait in another school building as they waited instead of going straight there. 

Hyunjin had a similar idea but for whatever reason his detour to the restaurant took them to some arbitrary bench overlooking a patch of grass. The location is neither serene like the rock garden or relaxing like the big fountain sculpture, both of which are within walking distance and have plenty of benches to choose from. It’s virtually a void where there’s nothing to focus on other than the sound of Hyunjin’s voice or the rubbing of Seungmin’s sleeve across the surface of his coat. 

“I’m sorry I should’ve told you earlier but I- uh, I’m really sorry that you weren’t able to sing because of… what I-”

“Hyunjin, it’s okay,” Seungmin says quietly, facing his head slightly to his left where Hyunjin’s sitting, “I’m not like, bummed out about it”.

“Still,” he insists, “I could tell how much time you spent learning the song… Felix too”. A moment passes before Seungmin’s taking another breath to speak.

“We still have the concert,” he continues, looking ahead and to the upcoming event. Truthfully taking the main vocals during the showcase really would’ve helped for knowing what it’s like to lead a group number, but Seungmin won’t fault Hyunjin for unintentionally collapsing on stage, “Felix won’t mind either, he- uh,  _ we _ were all kinda more concerned with how you were feeling”.

Seungmin rotates his neck slightly as he awaits a response from the other. Moments pass and he focuses back on the lawn.

“I’m happy that you came tonight”.

Over the weekend, Seungmin was summoned to the recording studio to record his demo vocals for ‘I am YOU’. It was difficult because they only had the booth for a short time and hearing his voice played back to him wasn’t very fun. Chan kept giving him pointers on how to better emote the lyrics or match the rhythm and Seungmin never got a take that he was completely satisfied with. He was told that he didn’t need to sound perfect on the recording since it was only a demo, but it wasn’t reaffirming that he would be able to sing through the whole song without messing up when actually on stage. 

Chan actually did strip down the original song into a ballad, drawing out more of its lyrical meaning and lessening the intensity of its musical production. Seungmin was excited for Felix who was still assigned to sing the bridge as he had originally recorded. It meant that his friend would be able to have his own moment and Seungmin himself wouldn’t need to strain his low notes to tap into the effect of Felix’s voice. The arrangement was a lot more choral, having every member singing lines in clear harmonies instead of the usual single syllable noises. Especially toward the end when all their voices are to gradually fade out, allowing parts which might have gone unnoticed to be highlighted by the silence surrounding them. It was the closest song on their setlist to being a closing number so it made sense why Chan was pushing the members to learn the song quickly to fit it into their end of term set. 

Prior to Tuesday’s meeting, Seungmin was speculating how the practice would go and what Chan would have to say about the showcase considering all that went down. In addition he was expecting Chan to have the members grind out their respective sections for the most recent song given that they had about a week to perfect vocals before moving onto choreography. However the meeting’s pace was set to be quite slow when Chan’s first announcement was that Hyunjin wouldn’t be coming. 

In Hyunjin’s absence it was actually Jisung who filled in as VP, because Jisung can do that too, go figure. As for the actual practice, they began to work on choreography for ‘Voices’ instead of “I am YOU”. Hyunjin had at some point made choreography diagrams and bullet points notes for Minho to decipher. With occasional help from Felix, he did the best he could with what he was working with; with no mirror, not enough space even after pushing tables against the walls, and no true insight into what Hyunjin had choreographed, Minho walked through what was a much somber routine which matched the darker themes of the song. The formations were not as friendly compared to ‘My Pace’, and it relied more on the members moving as a unit instead of separately from each other. Seungmin was worse at memorizing the steps without Hyunjin’s reflection; the empty spot in their formations was throwing Seungmin off the most.

  
  


He bounces one of his legs, tapping the back of his foot lightly against the ground then turns his head to get a glimpse at Hyunjin. His eyes are reflecting a speckle of light from an unknown light source as he stares blankly into the patches of grass in front of them. It registers what Seungmin had just said in an attempt to keep the conversation moving. Hyunjin’s eyelashes fluttering is a sign that he’s at least listening or thinking about what to say next. Seungmin’s not able to read Hyunjin’s face, so it’s either too dark or there’s no emotion being shown.

“Thanks,” Hyunjin replies, tilting his head lower. Seungmin can listen to the deep breath Hyunjin takes, as he opens his mouth before speaking, “sorry I couldn’t make it last time…”

“There’s nothing wrong with missing  _ one _ meeting,” Seungmin begins, “even if I did miss having you around”.

_ Wait. _

_ Shit. _

Seungmin’s eyes probably go wide and he straightens up his back to backtrack, “like, we all did,” talking out of his ass, “even Jisung”.

Seungmin’s takes a daring peek at Hyunjin’s face to see if there’s anything to read, but he’s instead met with his eyes dead-on. Seungmin quickly brings his head to face forward again. He’s starting to get used to the lack of light because he can somehow make out the brick pattern along the closest building’s wall, concentrating his sights elsewhere. 

“Jisung is probably the  _ least _ of my problems right now, don’t worry”.

The hint of sass gives Seungmin a reason to plant his foot for the time being. It also makes him smirk.

“I take that you haven’t made up?”

“Mmm”.

“Have you talked to him at least?”

“We did talk… Chan made us apologize to each other… he still hates me though”.

Silence ensues. It feels wrong to ask but he is rather curious.

“Is there a reason why he doesn’t like you?”

Another momentary silence. Seungmin considers the possibility that he’s prying too deeply into business that’s not his to know, but Hyunjin speaks up first. When Hyunjin does reply, Seungmin can tell that he’s treading carefully with his words because they don’t flow out as naturally as they normally would. 

“He has a grudge… from first-year”.

“Was it from a cappella?” Seungmin asks, apparently invested in the story. Hyunjin’s still quieter than he has been when they’ve had discussions before, but maybe Hyunjin’s just not as comfortable with sharing his thoughts like this. Seungmin would be understanding if that was the case. “Also you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to...” 

“No it’s okay,” Hyunjin picks up, “most of it is from JYP Nation… there was one time that uh, Chan picked me over Jisung to do a rap verse in a song”. Seungmin swears that he’s heard this story before, thinking back to the night he first met Hyunjin. His audition happened that night too, that’s a blur by now. “That’s where it started I guess...” Hyunjin’s voice trails off. Seungmin gives him another moment to pick up where he was leaving off but it doesn’t come. He decides to put in his two cents because who else is he gonna shit-talk Jisung with? 

“That sounds more like pettiness than a grudge”.

“That wasn’t all, uh, like there’s more- or there’s other things I- he should've gotten over that after a week”.

“...So you two have hated each other for like a year?”

“Moreso in the Winter… we fought way more back then,” Hyunjin admits, probably nodding too, ”even if it was over little things, like we were at each other’s throats. We had a truce this term too… we were supposed to ignore each other... but it’s hard...”

“...Well if it’s Jisung and the group is eight people, I could imagine that being quite difficult” 

Seungmin pictures the two in quarrel, using the showcase night as a reference. He can’t really imagine either of the two being able to sustain that type of energy for  _ that _ long, but then again, both of them keep surprising him with their hidden talents. What he witnessed last week was probably only scratching the surface of their full history.

He’s been cautious around Jisung since the showcase; he doesn’t necessarily dislike him or have any complications like Hyunjin does. He does enjoy his sense of humour and when he sings or raps but Jisung’s also been loud and outspoken whenever they’re together. It’s quite the opposite to who Seungmin would describe himself as and for that, potential closeness between them is questionable. It’s not that Seungmin is deliberately avoiding talking to him, but he has been cautious around Minho and so maybe by proxy he wouldn’t go out of his way to get to know Jisung. 

“Jisung doesn’t think I should’ve been in the group”.   
  


“Stray Kids?” Seungmin blinks in disbelief, “wait why?”

“Like not in general, but as an exec or whatever”.

Seungmin has since leaned back into the bench but straightens up his back again, keeping his head generally facing Hyunjin’s direction, “well either way, he’s and a jerk if he did say that to you,” Seungmin states.

“I’ve been thinking about it too,” Hyunjin says quietly, “obviously Chan needed 3RACHA for arranging and stuff, but like choreography isn’t really  _ that  _ important in a cappella. Like think of Day6”.

~~ How can Seungmin not?  ~~

“Hyunjin…”

“You don’t even need a dancing background to do what I do,” Hyunjin attests, “Chan’s choreographed numbers for JYP Nation before and they have so many people and a lot of them aren’t dancers in the slightest... I wouldn’t even know if I could manage teaching all of them or coming up with 30 people formations...”

“But we  _ don’t _ have thirty people,” Seungmin rationalizes, “Chan probably saw you dancing at some point and got you in because he trusted you with making the group nice to watch on stage”.

“That’s the thing… it’s something like, all I bring to the table is visual appeal”.

_ What kinda privilege... _

“...Aren’t you also our go-to VP? Like beatboxing is your thing right?” 

“I’m not even the best in the group. I take my lessons from Changbin, and then there’s Jisung who I might be on par with but at least he can sing well and stuff… Then there’s Chan's whose done it for like 5 years and like now Felix is picking it up too, it’s not really my thing to have I just-” Seungmin watches Hyunjin’s legs as they cross over each other, “like, I’ve been VP because I can’t really do anything else''. 

“Hyunjin that’s not true,” Seungmin’s voice lowers.

“I mean, isn’t it though? You have my range which isn’t low enough to have me below Tenor parts, and then my singing voice isn’t exactly loud or stable like yours or Jisung’s,” Hyunjin continues, “like if I had to audition like everyone else did, who's to say that I would’ve been good enough to actually get in? I’m like, dispensable. I offer very little to the group as a whole and Chan still invited me to join and if Jisung’s right then I’m here because I fucked my way to get in.”

At some point in the sentence Hyunjin’s voice cracked and unlike Changbin, it does keep him from continuing on. His words might not echo off of the walls in front of them, but they do in Seungmin’s head. 

“I’m oversharing I’m sorry… I should stop there...”

“It’s okay…” Seungmin replies softly, “I’m not gonna say Jisung’s an idiot… but he is an idiot... and if you actually believe him then you would be one too”. Seungmin turns to face Hyunjin to properly look him in the eye because they’re far from small talk now. However Hyunjin’s eyes are fixed on the space in front of them. “Like if you and Changbin was a problem for him then that’s on him, you don’t have to-”

“‘s not Changbin,” Hyunjin interrupts, then says holding his breath, “Chan”. 

In the back of Seungmin’s mind he wonders at which point he’ll find out that Hyunjin and Felix had a thing, but that’s besides the point.

“Well… then he’s being more ridiculous if he’s taking it out on you? Like, you got picked  _ by Chan _ , and it’s not like... uh-” he continues with an uncertain tone, “... _ sleeping _ with Chan was a one sided situation”.

It takes a couple seconds before Seungmin gets a reply and before he gets it, Hyunjin takes another deep breath.

“Jisung had a thing for Chan back then,” he states, “it’s like him and Minho now”

Seungmin doesn’t feel the need to be surprised. 

“...Okay but then still… he’d be being petty  _ and  _ jealous that Chan was choosing-”.

“He’s not,” Hyunjin cuts him off sternly, “I knew it would hurt him so that’s why I-” 

Something clicks in Seungmin’s head. It’s not a very satisfying click, but it does click regardless. 

“I know I was wrong....” Hyunjin mumbles, fiddling his fingers into the sleeves of his sweater, “...he should hate me for being stupid and a slut…. Like it was in the studio too- waitwaitwait, wait no. Forget that last part-”.

Seungmin does quite the opposite as his mind races with sinful thoughts and vivid images of what could have possibly happened in the room he had just visited. It doesn’t help that Felix had told him about Chan’s-

“I- I didn’t mean to dump that on you… sorry Seungmin”

Seungmin has to blink several times before his mind can properly move on, “no, I’ll be fine,” he says slowly, “just processing”. They sit in silence for a bit, as if Seungmin had requested for it. At this point, neither of them is looking at the other. While anticipating their order to be done any minute now, Seungmin’s carefully revising their conversation for where he should go next. By now he regrets saying what he said about Jisung, but at least Hyunjin was there to correct him. “I still… I still think... that you do a lot more than what you give yourself credit for”.

He doesn’t wait for Hyunjin to reply.

“Like off the top of my head…” and totally not something Seungmin’s spent hours thinking about already, “uh… your role in Stray Kids, it’s like… you are a great choreographer and a good dance teacher, I’ve learned a lot from you and Jeongin’s probably learned more. Like I can tell that you put thought into the formations and steps, like you really think about how everyone… not just how the group moves as a whole but how every member will move on their own.

“And then besides that you also come to meetings and help Jeongin or Minho learn the music even if you didn’t arrange it… like even without producing or whatever, you’re either teaching one of them the material or you’re letting one of 3RACHA do, or like, handle the members who struggle more or have parts that are harder… Then like you just said, you’re meeting with Changbin outside of practice too,” Seungmin detects the slightest nod from the other, “so then your time, or like, dedication… you dedicate err, yeah actually yeah, you dedicate a lot of your time to the group too, probably more than like half of the members.

“And then you’re also in a dance club right? You manage your time  _ really _ well if you’re able to commit to both of those things on top of keeping up with classes and your social life,” “and I can imagine that outside of the club you're practicing for that too, like I’ve  _ seen _ you dance Hyunjin and it’s like you- I wouldn’t know the right terms but you’re good, you’re  _ really  _ good at dance, like… for me, personally I-I really enjoy watching you perform… it’s so clear to me that you put a lot of effort into what you do. You work really hard and that’s probably why Chan wanted you in his group because he saw that in you, and like everything you do is… it’s... impressive? At least for me, you’re impressive, and uhh, to me you’ve shown up and proved that you deserve to be here, and I really can’t imagine Stray Kids if you weren’t in it”,

The buzz of his phone vibrating prevents another moment of silence, as Seungmin has to physically stand up to reach into his pocket because his coat is just that long. After fiddling to get it up right he skims the notification bar and slides the phone back into his pocket shortly after locking it again.

“The food’s done we can- shit no, please don’t cry-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am YOU:  
> Vocal, Rap: Seungmin, Jisung  
> Tenor 1: Minho  
> Tenor 2: Jeongin  
> Bari 1: Chan  
> Bari 2: Felix (swap with Seungmin during bridge)  
> Bass: Changbin  
> VP: Hyunjin
> 
> Y’all remember when Hyunjin choked on water right?
> 
> This chapter brought to you by ellipses and the word 'like'. Conversations are weird to write, like, there's no way everyone speaks with perfect grammar and pacing.
> 
> This scene is in reference to their TKR episode. They will spend the next 30 minutes holding hands. As friends of course.


End file.
